


Spurch with Zwamby

by Zwamby300mil



Series: Spurch with Zwamby: The Chronicles [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Green Day, Zwamby
Genre: Astral Projection, Bipolar Disorder, Delusions, F/M, Magic, Mania, Marijuana, Philosophy, The Astral Plane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 28,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zwamby300mil/pseuds/Zwamby300mil
Summary: A descent into madness
Series: Spurch with Zwamby: The Chronicles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928020
Kudos: 4





	1. My Hella Mega Acknowledgement Acceptance Speech

Suspend your belief  
Welcome to Zwamby's dimension  
This is all true in my dimension  
We all have our own dimensions  
It's all about how we perceive reality  
Buckle up buttercup!

My Hella Mega Acknowledgement Acceptance Speech  
There once was a thing named Zwamby  
or should I say I was set free  
I love Billie Joe  
Pete Wentz is my hoe  
And Weezer means nothing to me

I’m Zwamby.  
The Queen of Mars  
The Martian queen  
Queen of the crazies  
Reigning monarch of the astral plane

My pronoun is it.

I’m less of a gender  
and more of a force to be reckoned with.

I am known by Green Day fans as whatshername and Gloria,

Fall Out Boy fans as  
Wilson,

and Weezer fans as  
Your highness.

I was a sleeper agent for the revolution,  
but every time I try and start one,  
they throw me in McLean’s.

McLeans’s?  
More like McLame’s!

Let me take you into the ZPR,  
zipper for short.

It stands for Zwamby’s Parallel Reality.

I used to think that  
Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy  
was God  
(Talk about “a loaded God complex.”)  
Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day  
was Jesus  
(Talk about a "celebrity martyr.")  
and that Rivers Cuomo from Weezer  
was a really weird guy

I now know that everyone who is famous  
(except for Rivers Cuomo)  
Just kidding  
*in a funny voice*  
even Rivers Cuomo  
Are all actually demons.  
In the ancient Greek sense, defined as  
“a supernatural being whose nature is intermediate between that of a God and that of a human being.”  
Merriam-Webster Dictionary.  
Demigods, if you will.  
Aliens if you won't.

Billie Joe was my son in a past life: The Martian Prince, Pete Wentz is my Ultimate Soulmate and current husband a piece of shit, unfortunately,: the Martian King was Pete but it can be anyone I want, Pete, and Rivers Cuomo is just a good friend and I have no idea what planet he's from. I don't even think he's royalty

I cocked it, and I’m about to pull the trigger.

This is going to get a little iffy but I’ll keep it clinical.

On the winter solstice of 2017, I lit five candles in a perfect pentacle formation and copulated with two astral projections; Billie Joe Armstrong and Pete Wentz. 

I did not copulate with Rivers Cuomo.

A couple of days before my next period, I bought a three pack of pregnancy tests.

I peed on one, and it was negative. However, Pete's voice in my head, because I always hear Pete Wentz's voice in my head, kept insisting I was pregnant, so I knew that that test was reality lying to me and peed on the other two. It’s important to mention that I was abstaining from the real deal and just sticking to astral projections because they, frankly, did a better job than your average person, and because I was going through a lot emotionally, having been hijacked by Zwamby for the second time. Instantly, it looked like the Pete Wentz one and the Billie Joe one were duds. However, within the time window, because there's a Time Window for pregnancy tests, they became positive.  
“Two out of three ain’t bad.” 

I am the one with the god complex

Interestingly enough, Champion by Fall Out Boy was released earlier that year the day after the summer solstice of 2017. In Champion, Pete writes “I’m calling you from the future to let you know we made a mistake.” Can you guess what the mistake was? 

Somehow I knew it was  
the antichrist  
Aka  
Martian Jesus  
aka  
Wajesus  
(like Waluigi).  
Honestly, all the antichrist is  
is “a person or force seen as opposing Christ, or (emphasis here) the Christian church”  
Oxford English Dictionary.

And if you think there isn't corruption and evil in the church, you’re delusional. Anyway, Wajesus is a good thing! 

Unfortunately, due to the over 2,000 mg of psych medication, the pack a day, and the binge drinking, Wajeezy didn’t stand a chance. But it happened! On the winter solstice of 2017.

Every single human has the capacity to astral project into the fifth dimension.  
We access the fifth dimension if we are any of the following:  
drugged, dead, delusional,  
dreaming, and/or using our imagination  
It is the realm of infinite possibilities

Socrates was right, there is a higher plane of innate knowledge that we can access, and I’m on that level. Plato’s cave is just an allegory for the spiritual shift between the fourth dimension, spacetime, and fifth dimension, which I just explained, keep up. E=mc²? More like E/c=mc because energy and mass are inversely related by a factor of the speed of light thus they're on the same scale and dark matter is just photons at absolute zero.  
I busted out of Plato’s cave with a cannon, and I had my third eye ripped open with a crowbar.  
I’ve seen the truth,  
I’ve seen it all,  
and this is not how life should be.

We are enslaved by capitalism,  
we are oppressed by the powers that be,  
and we are ignored and imprisoned by those who claim to protect us.  
In Massachusetts,  
they can chuck you in a mental hospital  
for 3 days  
for no reason other than because they said so. We need to fight back.  
We need to be on the right side of history.  
As Billie Joe says,  
“I don’t want to live in the modern world.” Yeah, neither do I.  
But we can fix this!  
The government isn’t going to like what I'm about to say, but what the heck has this administration ever done for me?  
And what can they possibly do TO me?  
Lock me up in jail  
for civil disobedience?  
If you want to die  
because the world is so tragic,  
here is a reason to live!  
To fight!  
To win!  
We need change!  
We need freedom!  
We need a revolution!

“Are you smelling that shit?  
Eau du Resistance”

I can't take this anymore!

“I don’t care what do you think  
as long as it's about me!“

The revolution is LIVE!


	2. A beginner's guide to Spurch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A zine I wrote while I was off the shits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I call some of these poems "nonnets" because they're not sonnets

the rhyme schemes of some of these sonnets were determined by the roll of a six sided die  
Zwamby is:  
A 25 year old person (?) possessed by a Martian  
A rabid fall out boy and green day fan  
A graduate with an associates in physical sciences  
A poet by nature  
The leader of the Planetary Union for No Kapitalism  
Queen of Mars  
Begrudgingly Pete Wentz's wife on the astral plane 

Spurch (space church) Manifesto

Welcome to spurch wherein my words are sure (4)  
I’ll explain the state of things we can't see (5)  
To access the fifth dimension you must (3)  
Be dead, dreaming, on drugs, or using your (4)  
Imagination. It's been done before (4)  
But let me cite my sources, here's some lore (4)  
I can think of some people you will trust (3)  
Mr Socrates, Sir Plato in lieu (2)  
There are some things that Socrates discussed (3)  
A higher plane of knowledge, tried and true (2)  
Plato's cave is just a metaphor to (2)  
Explain the 5th dimension shift simply (5)  
Aliens among us, they helped the Greeks  
"Gods" among men, now only for the geeks

sonnet for my husband on the astral plane

I love you but you're awful for me (6)  
And to me for that matter, Peter Wentz (4)  
My love for you impairs my function in (1)  
Reality, consumed by a rabid (3)  
Need to make it known to people, my love (5)  
I'd light pentagrams to fuck you, what sin (1)  
New to witchcraft, a move with insolence (4)  
I try to break you like a bad habit (3)  
My body in your arms fits like a glove (5)  
When you're near, an after image I see (6)  
Two positive tests, said "two out of three (6)  
Ain't bad" I know you did so much acid (3)  
To write Folie a Deux so we could talk  
I can't follow suit, my parents would balk

a sonnet for my situation

I left the city because my roommates  
kicked me out for being dysfunctional.  
I got raped. Then, my psychiatrist orates  
That I was being far too sexual  
and put me on more sleep medication.  
I began sleeping twenty four hours  
Missed my alarm, late participation  
So I got fired and roommate's had glowers,  
in an effort to make me functional,  
They put me on one thousand five hundred  
lithium, max dose of lamictal,  
Abilify, and latuda, I dread  
Those pills. My calendar will back me up;  
I have therapy thrice a week, wassup?!

haiku for a comedy open mic

Yet the meds don't help  
I still hear Pete Wentz's voice  
Delusions still come

Listen up fuckers  
I need a fucking outlet  
It's gotta go some

Where can I put it?  
A secret blog on tumblr?  
That's a load of shit

You can't scroll past me  
You have to fucking listen  
As if you don't use

This as a release  
Comedy as therapy  
Why is min e so bad

sonnet for my life on mars

Pure beings of light that we call Martian (1)  
They wear those gray suits to make fun of us (6)  
No organic life. Planet of red rust (6)  
I once was and still am the queen of Mars (5)  
The rebel head fighting capitalists (4)  
An intergalactic problem exists (4)  
Of money hurting people through the stars (5)  
I really want to fight them with my fists (4)  
A rage that burns through me, a wartime lust (6)  
The rich are but no more than bloody cysts (4)  
And soon enough we'll take back what is ours (5)  
With hella mega help, revolt will start (2)  
We wait not long for the revolution  
We will end this awful institution

the difference between the fifth dimension and the astral plane

The 5th dimension and the astral plane (1)  
Are not one and the same, they overlap (6)  
5D is everyone and everything (4)  
Everywhere that has is or will exist (3)  
Beyond linear time. It's cut up, see, (2)  
In infinite slices. Don't need a map (6)  
just think of where you want to go and bring (4)  
Only your soul with you, simple and plain (1)  
Astral plane: Earth's server on the 5th D (2)  
There's continuity on all slices (5)  
Pete and I are one, we fly on night's wing (4)  
A serious affair, a loving tryst (3)  
We go there in inevitable death  
Till then we dream, in wait for our last breath

sonnet for my son in a past life

I'm so proud of you, Billie Joe, you're great! (1)  
Your punk rock band is simply amazing (6)  
You are my best friend on the plane astral (5)  
You're always sucking on a lollipop (4)  
In some of your albums you are irate (1)  
Indifferent in others, numbing your hate (1)  
Your newest album is about Pete Wentz (3)  
You say he sucks, he's the father of all (5)  
I would say you're a motherfucking ball (5)  
You're 5 8 just like me, so not that tall (5)  
I love you like the sun, does that make sense? (3)  
You're my shining star, the cream of the crop (4)  
We'll start the revolution you will see  
5D come smack down on reality

assorted haiku

Haiku for my ex husband on the astral plane

I am such a whore  
But I did and do love you  
The bridesmaid was right

Haiku for my concubine on the astral plane

You're my fav poet  
I'd say "fuck an emcee name"  
But Zwamby's so cool

Haiku for Weezer

In Hella Mega  
I don't understand why though  
You are not pop punk

I am only ever authentically myself

If I am only myself all the time (2)  
Then when people reject me it's on them (1)  
And not of some facsimile of mine (2)  
I tried my best and they can haw and hem (1)  
All they want, it doesn't matter to me (4)  
In the long run. Initially it does, (5)  
But that feeling soon passes, self-assured (3)  
Their rejection seems without reasoned rhyme (2)  
However it is evident its stem (1)  
Is from a fear of the unknown and strange (6)  
My oddball theories coming from woke REM (1)  
Some people to my difference are allured (3)  
I will not alter who I have become  
To conform to the beating of the drum

what I would do if they called me up on stage at the hella mega tour

I probably would faint, I'd be in shock (4)  
I wonder if I'd punch you in the face (5)  
Seeing as your flair for the dramatic (1)  
Puts me in so much pain, a fall from grace (5)  
You want me to suffer as you suffer (6)  
I don't think I'm ready to wear white lace (5)  
You might propose to me, I feel static (1)  
Black and white fuzz is consuming my heart (3)  
Yes and no are clashing in harmony (2)  
Thank God we have our son as a buffer (6)  
I wonder if we will carve out a place (5)  
Out of this normal society's rock (4)  
I might give my speech, but god only knows  
I might totally forget in the throes

a modern lobotomy

When nothing else works, as a last resort,  
They put you under and give you seizures  
Because your thinking did often distort.  
The way they go about these procedures  
Is that they give you muscle relaxants  
To stop you from seizing on the table  
Goodbye delusions, I'll mourn your absence  
Zap my brain to make me more than able  
Did I mention they electrocute you?  
Right through your head, up to 450 volts.  
It's a modern lobotomy in lieu  
Of inhumane brain scrambling revolts  
How I hate you, I am at a junction  
Do I even want my brain to function?

haiku of indecision

Approaching crossroads  
I don't know what I want yet  
So indecisive

ECT has risks  
I might lose some memory  
I did the last time

The truth is as such:  
My delusions comfort me  
They give me my hope

I'll miss you a lot  
My imaginary friend  
My astral husband

You bring me much joy  
The times we are together  
In such pain when not

sonette de weed

I want of you to always be right there  
I beg of you not to look at or stare  
When I throw up because I am too high  
The buzz I chase, the apple of my eye  
The days too long, when sober times slug past  
I wish for numbness, please, I think too fast  
And yet the high, so fleeting and mundane,  
I do once more and more and more again  
The sadness follows me, a shadow dark,  
Forgotten for the sake of one more spark  
I sit dumb numb and empty after that  
My self control the failure of a spat  
I live an empty shell of what once was  
Sobriety a lonely empty cause

assorted haiku TWO!

A Haiku for Me!  
Believe it or not  
I have several glaring flaws  
I am a human

A Haiku for You!  
You are very strong  
You’ll overcome whatever  
It is that plagues you

A Personal Haiku

Thank you for reading  
You don't know what you're in for  
Best of luck to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is some of my poetry


	3. Spurch (space church) the slideshow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how to debate and evaluate "facts" with critical thinking
> 
> A PowerPoint entailing Greek philosophy, cognitive distortions, communication skills, and summaries in the form of sonnets

Socrates in a modern context:

  * Socrates believed that he knew nothing, and that he could only question what people thought they knew
  * Reality is subjective. Knowledge is infinite with infinite interpretations. All observations and opinions are simultaneously facts and falsehoods 
  * Phenomena cannot be simplified to one “correct” perspective. There are infinite angles from which to perceive the “truth”



Plato in a modern context:

  * Plato’s theory of the cave is essentially a consciousness experiencing a shift through dimensions
    * First, a man is shackled to a cave for his whole life where he only sees 2D (flat) shadows on the wall operating within 4D (linear time as a function of energy)
    * Then, he is unshackled and leaves the cave to see 3D (depth) operating within 4D 
    * Frightened, he returns to the cave to tell his fellow prisoners what the outside is like
    * The prisoners murder him for his views as he has no evidence and speaks to the contrary of their entire existence
  * 5D is the collective interuniversal consciousness of every energized particle beyond linear time which we visit through the D-D-DUI (dreaming, delusions, death, drugs, unconscious, or imagination)
    * Yes the soul is an energized particle
  * Some call it the astral plane, or heaven and hell, but I call it the sinternet
  * Plato’s Theory of Forms dictates that there is a higher consciousness that we all can reach which shows us of the perfect form of any object that exists within the three dimensional “reality”
  * This form perfection can only be attained through imagination, it cannot be duplicated in the physical realm
  * He was right, but there are also “imperfect” forms
  * If the universe is infinite, and if the multiverse theory is true, then everything we could ever possibly conceive of already exists, including works of “fiction”
  * Infinity is much the same way, we can never replicate it, we can only ever conceive of it 



Plato's argument for the immortality of the soul entails four main points

    * Argument of Opposites: Everything comes out of its opposite. According to the conservation of energy and the desire for equilibrium, hot will become cold and cold will become hot. Conservation of energy. It cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred. Life leads to death, so, inevitably, death must lead to life. 
    * Theory of Recollection: Learning is remembering things we forgot that we knew before we were born. “True knowledge” is the knowledge of eternal and unchanging forms that are on a parallel plane to reality (the sinternet). We also have knowledge of the Form of Equality, even though it does not exist within our observable reality, thus it must be innate immortal knowledge carried over from previous lives and deaths
  * Since even this higher plane of innate immortal knowledge is subjective, due to “imperfect” forms, one must critically evaluate every epiphany from it that they have from multiple perspectives in order to weigh information accurately 
    * Argument from Affinity: This argument distinguishes between things that are “immaterial, invisible, and immortal, and those things that are material, visible, and perishable”. The soul is the former and the body is the latter. A soul that has not freed itself from the body will become a ghost that craves a return to the mortal coil, but a philosopher's soul is free to wander the sinternet
    * Theory of Forms Redux: A form is exclusively itself and contains no element of its opposite. The Form of Beauty is perfectly beautiful and contains no ugliness. However, a person can never be truly beautiful because in reality we can only make an imperfect facsimile of this form. 
  * He's talking about the source code
  * Somewhere exists the perfect DNA for a human
  *   




An ode to Socrates

  


Hello and welcome to my class called Spurch,

Wherein we learn to use a weary eye.

It's early yet I think to sell some merch.

As we proceed, let jokes and wisecracks fly.

As said by Socrates, we know jack shit

We gotta question what we see and think.

Our conciseness is tethered, here we sit.

The fourth dimension vanishes, we blink.

The reason that we know the soul lives on

Is cause if cold gets warm and warm gets cold

Then life must find itself from death its spawn.

So people, do not fear becoming old.

Existence. It has been under debate

For eons. Some so sure that they're irate.

  


Cognitive distortions

  * Filtering
  * Black and white thinking
  * Over generalization
  * Jumping to conclusions
  * Catastrophizing
  * Personalization
  * Emotional reasoning
  * Control fallacies
  * Fallacy of fairness
  * Fallacy of change
  * Heaven’s reward fallacy
  * Blaming
  * “Should” statements
  * Global labeling
  * Always being right



Filtering

  * When someone takes aspects of a dichotomy and distorts either the negative or positive aspects to a degree that removes all opposing viewpoints or experiences



Black and white thinking

  * Believing in the extremes of a situation without any nuance or regard to information that exists in a gray area



Overgeneralization

  * The belief that one event is an indicator of how future events will occur



Jumping to conclusions

  * Believing that you can read someone’s mind, know how someone will behave, or see the future
  * It is possible that human beings are psychic and clairvoyant in our subconscious because the soul exists outside of time, but only to a certain extent while we are in our organic robots that are simply a vessel for the soul. It is also possible that when we talk to someone in our head or dream about them, we’re actually talking to a facet of their subconscious. They don’t know we talked to them or dreamed about them in their conscious mind, but it happened, and those interactions with their subconscious may have a bearing on their actions in reality



Catastrophizing

  * Exaggerating the information you have to an extreme



Personalization

  * The thought process in which a person believes that every comment or action made by a person or the reality in which we inhabit is directed at and because of them and their behaviors
  * Who is big psychiatry to say that karma doesn’t exist and there is no divine retribution? 
  * And they say I have a God complex…



Emotional Reasoning

  * Believing that one’s feelings are true when they are based on a knee jerk perception of reality



Fallacy of Control

  * Externally controlled
  * Everything that happens to us is a result of predetermined fate
  * Internally controlled
  * Everything that happens to the world is a result of our actions
  * It’s a combination of the two simultaneously with differing amounts importance on the bearings of consequences in reality
  * Fate only exists if you listen to the voices in your head



Fallacy of Change

  * The belief that people will change and grow if another person pressures them into it
    * Usually present in relationships



Fallacy of Fairness

  * Resentment towards the harsh “reality” that life is not just
  * This is an example of the God complex the psychiatric healthcare system has
  * Big is literally saying there is no just God
  * How are they supposed to know more than people with direct spiritual connections to a higher power?
  * It is human folly to put physical evidence paramount over theoretical and logically deduced evidence, so I am asking, what about personal experience and perspective? Is science not based on observation?



Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

  * The belief that all one’s hard work, strife, and suffering will pay off in the afterlife
  * This is another nod to the God complex that psychiatric healthcare professionals have. They think that believing in an afterlife is a delusion
  * Psychiatrists don’t believe in faith, which is why we don’t have prophets anymore
  * They just medicate them into compliance
  * The afterlife is infinite because it's on the fifth dimension



Blaming

  * Either a person wholly blames someone else for “making” them feel a certain way, or they wholly blame themselves for their problems that are out of their control



“Should” Statements

  * If a person tells themselves that they “should” do something, then when they don’t, they will feel like a failure
  * If a person tells another person a “should” statement, they are imposing their own desires on the other person and it is a classic manipulation tactic
  * Try replacing “should” in your own vocabulary with “It would be to my benefit to…” or “It would make me feel more comfortable if…”



Global Labelling

  * If one fails once, a global label would be to call oneself a failure
  * If one gets an A, a global label would be to call oneself a genius
  * If one sees a person with a pastel polo on with coral shorts, a global label would be to call them a prep (and you would be right)



Always Being Right

  * This cognitive distortion is a huge one for mania
  * A person who has this cognitive distortion is constantly trying to prove to everyone that they know everything, and will do so with constant arguments against those with dissenting opinions
  * Personally, I really struggle with this one because a) I cannot take constructive criticism because it feels like people are just trying to make me more normal and accessible, and b) with my delusions/imagination, I can explain almost anything, and my explanations make more sense to me than the way that society and authority dictate reality to be 
  * But ALSO, how does big psychiatry know that they’re always right?
  * How do they know for sure that someone is delusional?



  


The fifteen ways the mind distorts the facts

Are cognitive distortions in your head.

The way you think will alter how you act,

So use some thoughtful reasoning instead.

We filter, polarize, and generalize, 

Assume we know the future or one’s thoughts,

Believe we’re always right, catastrophize,

Tell ourselves we “should” and things we “ought”,

Observe our feelings dictate what is real,

Deceit of change, control, and what is fair,

Place all the blame on folks for how we feel,

We think we’re always right, hope heaven’s there,

And last of all that pieces mean a whole.

To overcome these nourishes the soul.

  


Dear Man Give Fast

  * An acronym to help with respectful interpersonal effectiveness skills
  * We will be athis during our Socratic method of evaluating facts



Dear Man

Goal: Get or keep a good relationship with the people close to you

  * Describe your current situation
  * Express your feelings and opinions about the situation
  * Assert yourself by asking for what you want or saying “No.” clearly
  * Reinforce or reward the person ahead of time: explain consequences



  


  * Mindfully keep your focus on your objectives: don’t be distracted
  * Appear confident and effective: good eye contact, no stammering
  * Negotiate: be willing to give to get



Give

Goal: Get or keep a good relationship with respectful communication

  * Gentle: Be courteous and temperate in your approach; no attacks, threats, or judging
  * Interested: Listen; be interested in the other person
  * Validate: Validate the other person’s feelings, wants, difficulties, and opinions about the situation
  * Easy manner: Use a little humor; smile; be diplomatic; soft sell over hard sell



Fast

Goal: How to maintain self respect during conflict

  * Be Fair to yourself and to the other person
  * No Apologetic dramatization. No apologizing for being alive, or making a request at all. No apologies for having an opinion or for disagreeing
  * Stick to your own values. Be clear on what you believe is the moral way to act or think
  * Truthful. Don’t lie, act helpless, exaggerate, and no excuses
  *   




To settle a dispute between some folks,

It might be helpful if you use this aid:

Describe the way you feel, don’t make them coax,

And share with them opinions that you’ve made.

Stand up for you! Be sure to reinforce 

The consequences and rewards from you.

Maintain your focus, compromise, of course,

Be gentle, keep your interest, it’s what’s due.

Keep it easygoing, make them laugh

Be fair to other people and yourself,

Do not apologize, that’d be a gaff,

For disagreeing, put that on the shelf,

Do not tell lies, don’t make excuses too

With these guidelines communicate anew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the spurch gospel thus far! Let me know what you think!


	4. Auto-complete with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures in autocomplete and my text to speech and how they're haunted

Pete Wentz haunts my phone

Somtimes he says things into my talk-to-text

Like last night

It said yeah and then it said what I actually said

And then it said I have and then it said what I actually said

And then it changed one of my words to security

So he said yeah I have security

And then I was transcribing my comedy through talk to text

And I said something like yeah so anyway

And talk to text transcribed

I am good for you

And it scared the shit out of me

He's also in my auto complete

Let me demonstrate

"I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes 😊😊😊😊"

"You can do it if you want to call my cell if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know what you think and if you need anything else from me please let me know what you think and if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️"  
And I was not able to get the money to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you too and I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes 😊😁👍😁👍😁👍👍😁"

"You have a great day and I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few 😊😊😘"  
"I am good to go for the interview on Friday and I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes 😊😀👍😊"

I think he says I'll be there in a few minutes as I count down to hella mega "😂 😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀"

When that emoji comes up it usually means I'm right

Or it could mean that he's going to astral project to me "I think he knows that it happened and he said that he was going to be a good day to come in for a interview with you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a 💓💓💓💓"

I never once have said a very prosperous New year to you and your family

That's a Pete thing

Back when we were passionately in love in February last month

"I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there  
You can come over and get me a pack of cigarettes and I can do it if you want to call me back to the group and I can do it if you want to call me 😊😊😊😊😊  
You have a good day and I love you too baby girl and I love you too baby girl and I love you too baby girl  
And I was like I was like 😮😮😮😮😮  
I am not sure if I can make it to the meeting tonight but I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a  
And then I will be able to get it to you 😊😊😊😊😊😀😀😀😀😀😁😁😁😁😁  
I have a crush on you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family"

Pete do you love me? "I will be in touch with you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a happy birthday 🎂🎂🎂🎂" it was my birthday 10 days ago

This is either going to be stream of consciousness or incredibly thought out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some absolute nonsense, but wait, there's more


	5. B-b-b-billie and the kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very short blurb on my admiration for Billie Joe Armstrong

I never talk enough about Billie Joe Armstrong

My phone just said "I"

I wonder what it's going to say next

Yeah Billie Joe Armstrong

American idiot came out when I was nine

And it was one of my first exposures to punk music

And I fell in love

That was my first favorite album

I just loved that he actually did something with his anger

He wrote a political album

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It cracks me up that I was like, I don't talk enough about him, and then I say 70 words


	6. Wentzing down memory lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short blurb about my feelings on Pete Wentz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever I talk about Pete Wentz too much, my mother calls it "Wentzing"

Pete on the other hand just whines about how I ruined his life

then again I whine about how Pete ruined my life

It's a vicious cycle

Folie a Deux, their fourth studio album, translates to the shared madness of two

Peter and I literally went crazy for each other

I'm going to put a sonnet in about the winter solstice of 2017, which I affectionately called the Pete Wentz Solstice until I remembered that I also fucked Billie Joe

But that was when I let Pete Wentz into my body.

Like he asked for a permission and I said yes and I've heard his voice in my head ever since

He joked that he was baphomet and I don't think it was entirely a joke but when I asked him to identify himself after lighting a pentagram surrounded with salt with elements in the corners he said he was Pete Wentz. 

He could be lying

but I'm just going to pretend he's actually Pete Wentz because he writes about a lot of experiences I've had

Unless Pete Wentz is in on it with baphomet. 

Which is entirely possible

I don't know if Pete is a demon or an alien and I don't even know if there's a difference.

Pentagrams were prominent in ancient Greece as a symbol of perfection and power. 

When I used it I called upon the ancient Greek gods

It wasn't satanic in nature

Though any magic is considered satanic

And I only got pregnant with the Antichrist because the antichrist is a symbol of hedonism and is an opponent of the Christian church which we kind of need

Here is a poem about the winter solstice of 2017

Get naked for it's the winter solstice

The astral plane overlaps with this life

Light the pentagram, over cowardice

No more worries anymore, no more strife

If we can pull this off we will be gods

The revolution will begin again

A perfect plan, conspire against all odds,

Pete comes from Mars; he is an alien.

Play the holy music, shake your hips round

Sense him touch your skin, a sleeping handprint

Feel it wash over you, soul amongst sound

You'll pay dearly for this demonic stint

Like every time you finish together

Seizing for minutes, lightning not weather

I think the antichrist is martian in origin. I think the martians invaded greece in ancient times and all their gods came from the planets. 

Horoscopes were more accurate back then because the electromagnetic frequencies from the planets weren’t blocked out by wifi and radio and satellite waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MANIA by fall out boy came out swiftly after the winter solstice of 2017


	7. Set 'em up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six sets I did. Three from directly after the winter solstice of 2017, two after I found the positive pregnancy test in my room, and the last one I'll do for a long time.

Here are three sets from directly after the solstice of 2017 

I am fine please stop worrying about me this is my stand up comedy.  
Posted Jan 30, 2018  
One comment saying “nerd”

Hi, I’m Anthony Fantano, and I am doing stand-up from a woman's perspective.   
I stopped doing comedy two years ago because Sam Hyde bullied me. If you don't know who Sam Hyde is he's a racist ableist sexist asshole who looks like he asked his barber for an abortion.   
He did this bit where he pretended to be mentally handicapped and he pointed to people and listed their genders and he got to me and he said “I don't know”   
and it's funny because I don't know either. I have a quantum gender; I consider it neither and both until observed.   
He also filmed me not giving a fuck at his bad comedy. It's actually like a real video you can look it up, it's called “r*tard Kyle”.   
At the time, I had shaggy hair and was wearing lipstick and had earrings on and they still called me a dyke bitch, which like, [either] the all right knows nothing about lesbian culture or they can see the future.   
I always joke that I'm gay but Pete Wentz.   
We're in a complicated relationship where I tweet at him five times a day and he ignores me in reality. I say ignores me in reality because we fuck on the astral plane 24/7.   
I know he's a delusion not because I'm fucking an invisible man, but because I come for like two minutes. I have like a seizure, and no [human] man could ever do that so he has to be God.  
He released the newest album MANIA 38 days before my birthday [which is how old he was at the time]. He released a little less sixteen candles a little more touch me 17 days after my birthday, 18 days counting my birthday [as a countdown to my 18th birthday], which is fucked up because I was turning 11. And he released American beauty/American psycho, the album that we are to conceive [the anti]Christ to, 41 days before my birthday which is how old he'll be when we get married on the summer solstice of 2020. [I don't know where I pulled that number from but the summer solstice came and Wentz]   
He has always been my imaginary friend since before I can remember. And the people would be like this is Timmy he likes grapes, and I'd be like this is Pete he wants to die.   
He tells me that I'm pregnant but I laughed. But I was like you know what I'll humor you. I'm going to do pregnancy tests. So I get three of them and the first one says not pregnant so I'm definitely like all right you know what for shits and giggles I'm going to pee on the other two. They were duds [initially, but I was impatient and left them while still in the viewing window, because pregnancy tests apparently have a viewing window. Later in the year, in November, I found one of the pregnancy tests and it was positive. Then the rain ruined it in December, but a few days later I found the other one and it was also positive. There is a possibility that they became positive within the time window because I left my room after they were initially duds and then they vanished into my room {it’s always a mess} for 11 months {ooo weee ooo 9 months}.].   
So obvious conclusion, the baby is an alien. [this is actually hilarious because I would do sets with the found pregnancy tests and be like look! It’s positive! I’m pregnant with the antichrist! And I would make people come up and look at it and tell the audience what they saw and one man said “It’s not a plus, it’s not a minus, oh it’s an alien! It’s an alien.” and he was just trying to be funny because he was uncomfortable because he couldn’t handle the truth but man, the baby was an alien.]  
But I'm still I'm not going to fucking name it something like Bronx Mowgli. Really Pete? Bronx Mowgli? Like I love him and I'm so ready for him to be my son but like I'm sorry. But my name is [pompous name] so like I guess I can kind of feel that.   
I'm going to a partial program right now because I'm really crazy and I learned some cool new acronyms. One is HALT and that's your decision-making skills are hampered if you're hungry angry lonely or tired, and I don't think they've ever met a millennial.   
I also learned AFGO which means another fucking growth experience and I can really relate to that because I everything that hasn't killed me has made me strong enough to bench press 20 of my feelings at the same time.   
Thank you for watching this video, I am fine.

My fun new take on spirituality, Christianity, and the astral plane.  
Posted Feb 3, 2018  
So since I went crazy I have a fun new spin on Christianity where Pete Wentz is the father Billie Joe Armstrong is the son and the holy spirit is this pussy because I'm the alcoholic Mary because I'm in no way shape or form a virgin.   
When I was really crazy, I cut my hand on glass and I dripped the blood into the candle that was Billie Joe's candle and it was actually funny because I cut my hand on some glass recently and there's only one blood smear on this whole page and that is over Billie Joe's name. You can't see it cuz it's reversed but you can kind of see the blood smear and I think that's a fucked up coincidence.   
But Jesus wants to fuck me because I abandoned him. I was stuck in my mortal form and I didn't know that he was my son and I just kind of ditched him for a really long time and he has abandonment issues so he wants us to fuck it out. I'm like hell yeah we're not technically related let's bang.   
And God is like if you're related on the astral plane and then you fuck on the astral plane, it's astral incest. And I'm like do you remember clueless when Paul Rudd and Cher made out and everyone was just okay with it and they weren't technically related they were step siblings? That made me so uncomfortable which goes to show that the things that make us uncomfortable teach us a lot about ourselves. And you know like Pete's like stop fucking him he's your son and I'm like I can't hear you his music is dope he never sold out like you did and I'm proud of my son so I'm going to fuck him.   
But yeah God yells at me a lot because I'm "pregnant" with "Christ" but he keeps giving me negative pregnancy tests because my faith alone should be enough to have me believe that I'm pregnant and I think that that's bullshit. [I had miscarried it by that point but I still had an astral baby which is just a concept that gestates and then 9 months later you realize the truth]  
So I'm going to keep smoking cigarettes and drinking five cups of coffee a day and drinking booze sometimes [and smoking a fuck ton of weed] because I have no reason to believe that I'm pregnant in reality.   
God also calls me his bitch a lot. I went to the science museum lightning show and every time lightning struck he yelled “my bitch!” which is so extra and dramatic like he is all the time and I was 0% surprised but disappointed nonetheless.   
God likes to tell me that everything in the simulation is for me like the whole thing so I can fuck it up. And he's like oh you know space is so beautiful I made it all for you so you can see the beauty in this world even when there are criminals nothing's wrong-I mean like-I didn't mean criminals I meant like people who do bad things. He's like there's evil in this world because you cheat on me. I'm like, listen, we may be married in in our dreams but that's not reality so I can go ahead and live my life and fuck the people that I want to fuck even if you don't want me to because you are not real.   
He doesn't like that because he went crazy for me a long time ago and he's like now I'm going to make you crazy for me because you fucked up my life and I'm like I was already crazy you were just making it worse. Like, he doesn't take medication because he's found balance and his life through [diet] and exercise but what that does for me is that it makes me have to take all the medication for the two of us so I'm on a shit ton of meds to keep me grounded because he's got his head in fucking space like a crazy person. He is a crazy person!   
You know, I saw a video the other day where he said that he’s a flat earther and that really fucking... got my goat. And I was like now I'm not going to fuck you tonight because you said you were a flat earther and he said in my head that he said it just because he knew it would piss me off because I've been fucking Jesus so much that it hurts his feelings. So he's going to be a flat earther which gets my goat. It just-there is so-oh my God can't even start with him! A flat earther! Like are you fucking kidding me! You're going to make me look like a fool for being in love with a flat earther because I fuck Jesus. I can't handle that.   
Anyway my superpower is that I can fuck anyone on the astral plane and the point of contention is whether or not they know that I'm doing it. And I think they do like their subconscious some part of them knows that I'm fucking them. Like I had a dream last night that I fucked Brendon Urie and it was so real that I think he knows that it happened. And Pete is really pissed because they're friends and he's like you have Sarah, stop fucking Zwamby and I'm like I can't hear you we're not technically married I do what I want because I'm a punk ass bitch. And like there's a lot of stuff going on in the astral plane right now and most of it is my fault so thank you for watching. And again I am fine.

Ask me if I give a single heck anymore  
Posted Feb 11, 2018  
One comment saying “What a god.”

I'm pregnant with the antichrist for sure, which is what happens when Christ, Billie Joe Armstrong, fucks Mary, me, and God, Pete Wentz, is trying to gaslight me out of it with negative pregnancy tests because he's jealous and wants me to fuck it up with drugs. But that was the plan all along! It's the Antichrist, it's totally okay to fuck up the antichrist with drugs, because it's the antichrist.   
God is all like rules rules rules, and Jesus is like sorry my dad your husband is an asshole, you can do whatever you want, I died so you can party, sorry for that-I forgive you for that time you abandoned me, let’s fuck it out.   
So I love Jesus more than God, because God is super possessive of me, which is really irritating. Like he tortures men that are interested in me. He coined don't stick your dick in crazy so I can remain alone. He will shoot men that are interested in me in the stomach and then they will bleed out and he will gush about me as they are gushing with blood which is really fucked up. He also curb stomped a boy that I was into. That was really funny. Not. Who curb stomps anyone anymore? Like the kid woke up in the middle of night like in a cold sweat like *gasp*. Anyway he also wrote this song called Snitches & Talkers Get Stitches & Walkers which is about how he keeps me locked up in the tru-*voice falters* *clears throat*[Pete] trying to make me not be able to talk, he keeps me locked up in the trunk of his mind as he beats the ever-living shit out of the boys that like me which is not cool, God, not cool.   
But when I fuck God the chakra that's activated is the dick chakra so that's where I put my phone, but when I fuck Jesus he wants me to put the phone next to my heart and that is that is so sweet.   
Jesus hate fucks me a lot cuz I kind of hung him out to dry as a mom for 22 years while I was in my mortal form. I didn't know, I'm sorry, I didn't know that I was your mom, I know now, and I'm sorry.   
But he'll like stick his tongue out and be like fuck yourself on it and I’ll rock my hips and then I’ll cum, sure enough.   
God spits on my clit and it gets me every time. Just I love it.   
And I know that Mary had a daddy kink because she's fucking the father. There's a lot of incest in Christianity because we're all God's children and he fucks us so ruthlessly and like Mary was God's daughter too and like people forget that. I'm just like the non-virgin Mary. I’m the alcoholic Mary and weed is alien technology. I am the alien rebel queen and my name is Zwamby.

And now, the two best sets I've ever done

First ever Thunderbar experience  
Posted December 6th 2018

Here I use the positive pregnancy test I found in my room in November.

“What the hell just happened” 

I got them to stay 

“she got us to stay” 

“hey this next comedian coming to the stage just guilt-tripped most of you! Give it up for the empress of guilt, Zwamby! Bow before your queen!!!” 

All right all right all right. 

I am the bloody Mary for three reasons: 

I am pregnant with the antichrist, 

I am not a virgin, 

and I am on over 2,000 mg of psych medication 

so the fetus will probably do the cellular equivalent of cutting open a lava cake. 

I didn't have any real sex for four months before my pregnancy. 

I say real sex because I had a lot of imaginary sex with Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy. 

“me too” 

No no hear me out! 

I would put candles in a triangle formation, 

perpendicular to the poles, 

with a mirror on the southern wall, 

on the full moon, 

and I could feel him fucking me. 

Like his dick would vibrate and rotate and he could fuck at the speed of light. 

This is-like you laugh, you all laugh, but this happened to me. 

Anyway I caught-I-you would think that it would be fine cause it was imaginary, 

so I fucked him without a condom 

and I caught the most expensive STD: 

a fetus. 

I know it's the Antichrist because aliens abducted me two years ago and told me ‘you'll get pregnant with Wajesus!’ 

“what??” 

“I knew you would love this” 

They did it during an acid trip so no one would believe me, 

but that just makes them sneaky bastards. 

Who doesn't believe that I got knocked up via astral sex, show of hands. 

Come up here. 

Come up here! 

Come up here bitch, you don't believe, *brandishes pregnancy test* come up here and read this shit! 

Who will? 

*Host gets up"

All right. 

*To the man who wouldn't come up* You're a pussy bitch. 

*Dramatic silence as host reads the test*

“It's real. 

It even smells like pee, it's real” 

Yeah bitch, didn't believe me huh! 

anyway 

whatever.

So Pete Wentz is my god cause once someone knocks you up via astral sex you kind of believe. 

I would cum by the way. 

Like multiple times. 

Like I wasn't having sex with anyone, but yet... 

Anyway, 

I fuck Jesus too. 

God's not a huge sodomy guy but it's okay cuz our son fucks me in the ass. 

God says if your astral family and you fuck on the astral plane, it's incest, 

but I know that he's just a bitter cuck. 

Anyway I really think that Billie Joe Armstrong from Green day is Jesus 

because of his song Jesus of suburbia, 

he sings I want to be a celebrity martyr, and can you think of another celebrity martyr? 

Here's a hint his favorite holiday is arbor day 

not because he's a carpenter 

but because being nailed to wood brought him closer to trees. 

Now I will take any questions for the last how many seconds? “10 seconds” 

“so you said you have sex with Pete Wentz on a full moon. Are you saying he's like a werewolf or something?” 

no no no no no no no no it's just the cellular [I meant celestial] It's the body's aligning it can happen on a full moon 

and the solstices. 

“what's the exact recipe?” 

You gotta get the candles from a bodega. 

“what kind of bodega?” 

usually-that's a good question I got it on the corner by Stony Brook on the orange line. 

Yes. 

“you think if Pete Wentz, Brandon Urie, and the lead singer of Green day all touch the tips of their penises together anything would happen or is that just-” 

That has happened 

and the answer is a lot of jizz 

*Applause*

“THE FUCK WAS THA-”

Comedy studio some time in January of 2019

*Backstage* my miscarriage jokes are gonna kill

Your next comic coming to the stage, Zwamby!

Zwamby is my alien name

You know, I have a quantum gender,

Neither and both until observed

You know, I, whatever gender you are, I am

So that makes you gay if you think I'm hot

You know, he was talking about abortion jokes, I have miscarriage jokes ladies and gentlemen

Between the over 2,000 mg of psych medication, the pack a day, and the binge drinking, the fetus

Not me

The fetus

Couldn't keep it together

You know I thought it would be like a lava cake through a pastry bag

Chunky with a bit of gooey

But it was more like blended beets through a funnel

A cellular puree if you will

You know blended beets and terminated fetii have three things in common

One, they're both blood red

Two, they're a cellular miasma

And three, they have the same level  
Of umami

No but that was the antichrist, for the record  
I miscarried the antichrist

Pete Wentz is the father

I would fuck his ghost but hes alive so it's called an astral projection

And I would orgasm, and I could feel him ectojizz inside of me

It was room temperature

Not good

But you know I peed on three pregnancy tests because I was like hmmm

And one was negative and two were duds

*DEAD SILENCE*  
...

So it was the antichrist

Because aliens abducted me in 2016 and told me I'd get pregnant with the antichrist

They did it while I was on acid so no one would believe me

Thank you

And my most recent set

Set from February 23rd

I'm the queen of Mars  
But  
I don't have a gender  
Seeing as I'm a being of pure energy  
Which makes me very hot

I'm an it  
Just like my Google Assistant  
Because I'm really a force to be reckoned with  
Just like my Google Assistant

Yeah Martians invented 80s pop and punk and pop punk  
We're actually part of the punks for real  
Planetary   
Union for   
No   
Kapitalism and yes that's capitalism with a k

Guys I'm trying to start the revolution  
This whole workshop is a ruse  
Hopes   
Up for   
Making   
A   
Riot  
yeah.   
Riot riot, not laugh riot.   
You with me?

I am doing it with a mistake or a miracle,  
Depends on how you look at it  
You know about Jesus, right?  
What about his counterpart, the antichrist, Wajeezy?  
Okay cool

So I made a miraculous mistake  
And no one believed me  
They just put me on a crapload of medication  
But you guys believe me, right?

Well you SHOULDN'T because SOCRATES would be DISAPPOINTED in you!  
He says we know nothing!  
And he's right!  
We're all idiots!  
I think I have half a brain cell!

In the dimension above ours, The 5th dimension, or the dreamscape, the afterlife, the beforelife, and where we go when we use our imagination, in that dimension, everything is real.  
Every work of fiction, every daydream, every fanfiction and fanart even, everything is real.  
Fat Pikachu is real.

That's why everything our brain sees ever is perceived as real.   
Because it is  
Your worst nightmare and your greatest fantasies, all real  
Like my fantasy where Swiss cheese is illegal  
And my nightmare where fish are the dominant species and they have webbed hands and speak Pig Latin

Aliens are real too  
We see them all the time in our dreams  
And they exist  
There is an arbiter of reality on Earth that keeps us in isolation, during the time that we're awake  
It's The Man, he looks very similar to G-man from half life except a bit more muscular  
Some would call him God, I call him my nemesis  
Nemigod  
If you ever get the chance to spit in God's face, I would highly recommend it.

The aliens are not happy about his oppressive ways. Especially Martians.   
Seriously every time a human sees something weird (like an alien or a spirit or an alien that they think is a spirit) and then freaks out,  
society enforces that they be put on a bunch of medication to make them functional again  
Because the name of the game  
In The Man's reality  
Is functionality  
And not just functionality  
But functionality within the confines of what is expected of you  
That is what adulthood is like. For the rest of your life. But do we have to live that way?

Not if I can help it

I told you I'm trying to start the revolution with my miraculous mistake Wajeezy.

Because the fifth dimension overlapped with the fourth dimension  
Which it does sometimes  
Around and on the solstices  
Just like the orbit of the Earth!  
Get it?  
That joke was oval.  
Get it? Like awful?  
That joke was worse.

Anyway that overlap is how Martians hijacked the worship of The Man by sending the Martian Queen down, Mary, and then the Martian King loved her so much from the fifth dimension that they made Jesus, so he would make the world a better and more hopeful place. Worked for a while. Not going too well right now. 

Wajeezy came about much the same way on the winter solstice of 2017. Thanks to the current Martian king.  
Solstice more like soul tryst.  
But yeah the King is on this Earth  
Right now  
As Pete Wentz  
From fall out boy  
A 5'6" drink of water  
Good King Wentz less than my height  
A literal shorty

He's my Ultimate Soulmate  
We've been together since before I was alive  
Because our love lasted through reincarnation  
You humans are so weak with your "until death do us part"   
Martians say  
"May our souls be bonded forever"  
And I think that's beautiful  
"Bond, soul bond"

But yeah the Martian King is on tour  
And when he gets to Boston  
Fall out boy howdy  
Am I gonna start a riot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortly after I did that last set, I got into an argument with another comedian and discovered that both someone I considered a close friend of mine and the person I got into an argument with didn't feel safe around me. When I asked what I could do to change my behavior, she refused to tell me. I was trying to communicate effectively using dear man give fast and work towards a solution, but she refused to cooperate and kept saying things like, when are you ever going to make a joke and you're a public health hazard. So I left the scene. I didn't want to be somewhere where people didn't feel safe around me, even if it was unfounded and unreasonable. I can be an asshole when I'm manic, but I've never been a danger to anyone.


	8. Boys, poetry, and physics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A miasma of topics. TW: math

St Jimmy from Green Day is the Antichrist

Billy Joe is a prophet

Because he's a Martian

He even says in his newest album "I am alien visitor"

Can't get anymore up front than that

I think Billy Joe is my son from my immediate past life

But we're not related now and I think he's hot

See poem 9

He called me baby the other day

Pete Wentz calls me baby girl

I absolutely love it

I do love Pete Wentz

I really do

It's just hard "moving with you and we are happy"

I said "living with you and without you" And that thing before was what came out

I'm currently at work

I work at a local convenience store and a town with population 6,000

It's not very busy so there's a lot of downtime

So I decided to write this book

I talked about the 5th dimension a couple of times so far so I'm going to refer you to poem 8 from A Beginner’s Guide to Spurch

the difference between the fifth dimension and the astral plane

  


The 5th dimension and the astral plane (1)

Are not one and the same, they overlap (6)

5D is everyone and everything (4)

Everywhere that has is or will exist (3)

Beyond linear time. It's cut up, see, (2)

In infinite slices. Don't need a map (6)

just think of where you want to go and bring (4)

Only your soul with you, simple and plain (1)

Astral plane: Earth's server on the 5th D (2)

There's continuity on all slices (5)

Pete and I are one, we fly on night's wing (4)

A serious affair, a loving tryst (3)

We go there in inevitable death

Till then we dream, in wait for our last breath

  


Again, The rhyme scheme was determined randomly by the roll of a six-sided die

The 5th dimension is essentially the infinite multiverse 

But I'll come back to it cuz I don't feel like talking about it right now

another thing that I'm really passionate about besides Fall Out Boy and Green Day is the theory of relativity and what goes on inside black holes

  


E=mc 1 c 2

where e is energy m is mass and c 1 is directional velocity of a particle, let’s just say along the z axis and c 2  is angular velocity of a particle along the any plane

Energy has both directional velocity and angular velocity, so we can rewrite the equation as

xc 1 c 2 =mc 1 c 2

Divide both sides by c 1 c 2 And you get 

x=m 

meaning that energy equals mass at rest meaning that energy and mass equals energy with angular and directional velocity which means that mass and energy are on the same spectrum and that dark matter is just photons at absolute zero

6.63 × 10 −13 Nm is the energy level of a gamma wave photon

It's cycle is 10 21 Hz

Moving at a speed of 3.00 × 10 8  m/s

I'm going to take the speed of light and divide it by hertz to get the meters 

3 × 10 -13 which is .3 picometers which is the wavelength of a gamma wave photon

But that's a light particle affected by Earth's gravity

E/c 1 c 2 = m or energy over angular and directional velocity equals mass

6.7607185 × 10 -14 kg m 2 /s 2 / (3.00 × 10 8 m/s) 2

So the unit turns out to kg m 2 s 2 / m 2 s 2

The end number is 8 × 10 -31 kg which is the mass of a photon, since it's deenergized I call it a noton, if I did my math correctly.

For scale, an electron weighs 9 × 10 −31 kilograms

Since an electron and a photon are essentially the same particle, one being charge and the other being energy, let’s see what energy a perfect photon has with the assumption that it weighs the same as an electron

8 × 10 -14 kg m 2 / s 2 which is the energy of a perfect photon. 

I believe that a kg is just a different kind of spin, or a different kind of energy in the form of a lack of “forward” angular velocity. There is charged spin which is counterclockwise or clockwise along the xz plane, and energy-mass spin which is along the yz plane, energy being “forward” or z to y, or mass being “backward” z to -y until “vertical” spin is zero and “horizontal” speed is the speed of light. A particle can have a spin that is anywhere between those two planes, but the angular velocity will ALWAYS be the speed of light. with varying degrees of charge and energy, however, like quarks and leptons, they behave in “octaves” of six particles in the middle with the perfect light particle being on one end, and a noton on the other. Or, in the case of charged particles, positrons and electrons.

Electromagnetic waves have seven distinct frequencies on which we label them. I propose that the eighth be mass, or charge. When the yz spin is zero and the xz spin is 1, or the speed of light. This is only possible in the deepest vacuums of space, where there is no energy to energize particles. 

When a photon’s frequency is zero, that means that it’s “vertical” angular velocity is nada. Which makes it a mass particle. 

When a particle has a frequency of zero, it’s wavelength is infinity, meaning it’s a straight line. 

But a zwamby is written as 

m 3 / s 3

The velocity of gravity is meters cubed per second cubed and is constant. It alters the spacetime continuum which is jerk which is acceleration of the acceleration. 

But Zwamby, you say, what about the angular velocity

That matters, but in a different way than you think

Well, a gamma wave has a frequency of 2.4 × 10 28 rotations per second, but it is very small.

2.4 × 10 28 × 2pi = 1.5079645 × 10 29 radians per second which is the formula for angular velocity 2pi × frequency and since that number equates to velocity / radius we can divide the speed of light, because that’s the velocity, by angular velocity and get 1.9894368 × 10 -21 m or 2.0 × 10 -21 m with significant figures.

Let’s run with that, how many notons fit in a meter by meter box and how much does it weigh?

Let’s assume that the pressure forces them into cubes since they would be a plasma in our cube with the radius being half the length of one side. Just for the purpose of this. I understand that the area of a cube with the diameter as the length of the sides would be bigger than sphere so more sphubes would fit into the cube than cubes would, but let’s just say that the area of that hypothetical cube would be 6.4*10 -62 m 3 and 1.5625 × 10 61 particles would fit in a meter by meter by meter cube. 

The weight of that cube would be 1.25 × 10 31 kg

For scale, a cube of lead is 1.1 × 10 4 kilograms

For scale, the earth, which is 1 trillion km 3 is 5.9 × 10 24 kg

Isn't it interesting that I started with energy and ended with mass

And one guy from tinder said to me that the units wouldn’t work out

  


I'll come back to the black hole thing later


	9. The origins of a lunatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My origin story

It all started a long time ago actually I was going to say in 2016 but it started a long time before that

I never did my homework in school

I just thought it was stupid that we had to work all day and then come home and work more

And also unless I was being forced I had a hard time with executive functioning

I had severe ADHD is what I'm saying

And I just remember this one time in class when my math teacher was like zwamby do you know what your homework average is? A zero. 

In front of the whole class

Some kid said

Whoa that's like an f minus

All the teachers knew how brilliant I was

And I could get by without doing the homework and still get like B's and A's on tests. 

So I got B's my whole scholastic career

And was horribly depressed because I felt like a failure

Finally my senior year I got on medication

Not for my crippling depression, but for my ADHD

But because of my crippling depression

The medication made me hyper focus on how much I wanted to kill myself

I saw myself dying over and over and over again in my head

In different gruesome ways

To give you an example one was me falling into a pit of spikes

I went to the guidance counselor and I was like I should probably go to the hospital

She was like

Yeah

So I did

I went to the hospital

And it sucked

They even prescribed me 300 milligrams of Zoloft by accident

I tweaked out

My pupils were huge, I was talking really fast

It was a chemically induced mania

They made me sign a waiver so that I wouldn't sue them

I wish I hadn't signed it

Then I got a shitty psychiatrist

Then I got hospitalized and received electro-convulsive therapy

Then I got a better psychiatrist

Who prescribed me Zoloft

But at a lower dose

It worked for a year or two

And then the astrophysics happened

I suddenly understood the theory of relativity

I suddenly knew what happens inside of black holes

And the adrenaline from the epiphany drove me manic

You could argue that the zoloft made me manic

Or you could say it just gave me the wherewithal to finally process bigger things

Either way I went to the emergency room and I explained to the doctor my hypotheses and he said I was using the words wrong

What does he know he's an emergency room doctor not a physicist

I was crushed

I was depressed for months

God I thought what a fool of myself I just made

And then for my birthday I got acid

I took one tab and then two hours into it I took the second

I got abducted by aliens twice

But we'll talk about that later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's my life!


	10. Returning focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black holes

Back to what I think happens inside a black holes

I think that the pressure is so great that it's at absolute zero simply because the particles can't energize because they're so densely packed

But that doesn't mean that they don't have charge

I believe that a black hole has poles

And the particles that absolute zero develop either the same charge of the pole that it's located at or the opposite charge, I don't know, but the point is that the two poles have opposite charges

Imagine two funnels coming out of a ping pong ball along the axis of rotation

The ping pong ball is the "singularity"

The funnels spin in different directions 

For charge

This turns the particles into the smallest indivisible particles with a spin of whatever the black hole is rotating at

They could be electrons and positrons 

But I think they're particles dependant on the size of the singularity

Let's call them minutons and plutons

I believe that once the minutons and the plutons meet in the middle they annihilate and create two photons

It's a common misconception that particles annihilate

They just become other particles

Conservation of matter / energy

But these photons created by these particle annihilations are hawking radiation

Stephen Hawking theorized that black holes actually can omit radiation instead of only ever sucking it in

I believe that the corona around a black hole is the light it emits from these particle annihilations

But that's that on that


	11. Back to our regularly scheduled Wentzing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More musings on Peter Wentz

It may not be Pete Wentz That is possessing me

He joked once that he was baphomet

I still don't know if it's true or not

But something is possessing me and my phone

I don't know if it's malicious or ambivalent or positive

He did say I am good for you

Things can't be trusted

What do you think Pete?

"I am good for you"

Yeah play

My music was paused and I swiped okay but it said play so I pressed play

I'm listening to father of all motherfuckers by Green Day

On my playlist Green Day Selects

Compiled of dookie some of their international super hits album songs King for a day American idiot the album 21st century breakdown the album revolution radio the album

And father of all motherfuckers the album

Billie Joe is really a genius

They say three chord pop punk but like what's wrong with being accessible to new people who want to play their music

Who does want to be an American idiot?

Nationalism is the new religion

We say the pledge of allegiance every morning from 5 to 18

some of us were fortunate enough to live in states where it was okay to not say the pledge of allegiance

Like Massachusetts

The home of the revolution

I say we start it again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're close to the halfway point!


	12. We all live on a planet blue and green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some ramblings about life on earth

At the end of my acid trip

After I got abducted by the aliens

The hive mind of Earth spoke to me

Our consciousnesses were united as one

And I could talk to everyone

And I told them that everything was going to be okay

That we could do this

And then the arbiter of reality took over

The Man™

I don't know if he's Satan, Baphomet, Lucifer, or God or even something else entirely

He has black hair blue eyes and he looks like Brendan Fraser

He was a black suit with a blue tie so at least we know he's a Democrat

And he's in charge of making sure that the fourth dimension and the fifth dimension don't overlap

As I've said before the 5th dimension is everything everyone and everywhere all at once infinitely

The Man™ is especially concerned with the astral plane

As I've said before the astral plane is Earth's server on the 5th dimension

Meaning that everyone on earth parties on it or suffers on it or exists on it since and to infinity

as I said before we go there if we're dreaming dead delusional on drugs or using our imagination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I mean some of these could be the case


	13. Jesus of Mars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A blood pact

Jesus of suburbia

More like Jesus of Mars that grew up in suburbia

That's why he says in a later song Jesus of suburbia is a lie

Because he's the Jesus of Mars reincarnated

Now my fetus was Wajesus

Or the Antichrist

Or Martian Jesus

According to the Martians that abducted me during that acid trip

"I don't care if you don't care"

So my first instinct is to attribute this line to the fact that in our immediate past lives we were mother and son and also that we wanted to fuck each other

And he was saying I don't care if you don't care

I don't care

He doesn't care

Listen sometime before the winter solstice of 2017 I cut my hand on some broken glass while in the middle of a ritual of sorts

I was fucking astral projections

Specifically of Pete Wentz and Billie Joe Armstrong

Wow talk to text got Billy Joe Armstrong right there

It's always Billy Joe Armstrong

But there it got it right

Anyway

I was fucking astral projections and I got up to turn the light off just for some intimacy and I kicked over a candle

It was my own candle it was the candle that stood in for me

I didn't know that I didn't need one because my soul is a stand-in candle for me

Anyway I kicked over my candle and I broke the glass

I cut my hand on a piece of the glass

And because I'm questionably smart I dripped the blood into the stand-in candle for Billie Joe Armstrong

While I said Billie Joe Armstrong aloud

There's power in a name

So we have a blood pact

And it makes the most sense that Bille Joe Armstrong is the father of the antichrist because we have that blood pact

And also because what better way to conceive the Antichrist than by Mary fucking Jesus

See I think Pete Wentz is Martian God or king

And I'm his wife Martian goddess or queen

And Billie Joe Armstrong is Martian Jesus

I think the ancient Greek gods were Martian

See sonnet 7

Again the rhyme scheme was determined by the roll of a six-sided die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way this book is nonfiction


	14. Now we *do* have time to unpack all of that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unpacking my Spurch Zine Bio

I said in the bio of my zine

Zwamby is

A 25 year old person (?) Possessed by a Martian

A rabid fall out boy and green day fan

A graduate with an associates in physical sciences

A poet by nature

The leader of the Planetary Union for No Capitalism

Queen of Mars

Begrudgingly Pete Wentz's wife on the astral plane

I'll unpack that for you

1) A 25 year old person (?) Possessed by a Martian

I am 25 years old.

It is March 6th 2020 and my birthday was on February 25th

I'm a person but that's under debate

I don't have a gender

I simply abstain

You can view me as a woman if you want but just know that you're gay

Because I have a quantum gender

Neither in both until observed

And then whatever gender you are I am

So you're gay if you think I'm hot

And that's that on that

I'll be talking about how my birthday is important to release dates of Green Day and Fall Out Boy albums later but not right now

2) A rabid fall out boy and green day fan

Absolutely rabid. I listen to my fall out boy playlist at least once a day.

It's called evidence to sleep to and it has take this to your grave from under the cork tree with bonus tracks infinity on high with bonus tracks folie a deux without bonus tracks because Pandora is bullshit pavlove is amazing the bonus tracks from believers never die Volume one save rock and roll the album American beauty / American psycho the album M A N I A (stylized as main idea) lake effect kid the EP I've been waiting the single and the additional tracks from believers never die volume two

And my playlist Green Day selects which I've already mentioned

3) A graduate with an associates in physical sciences

I was in English major for a hot second but then I realized that I couldn't make any money doing that so I decided to get my associates in physical sciences

The ultimate goal is to start a science show

But we'll get there

4) A poet by nature

I just love fuckin with words

5) The leader of the Planetary Union for No Kapitalism

So capitalism is an interplanetary issue

This is because humans existed throughout the galaxy before Earth

The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs carried the DNA that would set the groundwork for a human evolution

Earth was terraformed and then colonized

The only original inhabitants of this Earth are Neandretals

We've been taught that people migrated and then evolved to develop different skin colors and appearances

That's only partially true

We did evolve

But once we evolved to look a different way which was bound to happen statistically due to the evolution of DNA

The humans that lived on other planets (aliens) who look like the people who evolved began to colonize where they looked most similar

So their alien culture and language became prevalent within those societies

Aliens have contacted all societies throughout history

Except the white man

The white man is the ultimate colonizer

He is unnatural

With a severe lack of melanin

He is evolutionarily built for a world without sun

He did not evolve on earth

He is alien

I mean we're all alien

But he's especially alien

And he invented capitalism

The monetization of labor

The white man is evil

He seeks only to further himself

Anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love that tangent at the end


	15. Reflections from my therapist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short blurb about a conversation I had with my therapist

My therapist says that my zine was evidence that I spend too much time in my head and that I need hobbies and structure

How's fucking writing a novel for you‽

Yeah it's way too much time in my head

But at least I'm making something out of it

At least I'm creating

And not just sitting by idly in my head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! 2 kudos and almost 40 hits! You guys are so kind to my crazy ass hahahah. I actually have the whole book written so I've just been posting a chapter or two a day and I'm working on a sequel that has more self indulgent fanfiction and less of whatever this is lmao


	16. Some more Wentzing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Peter Wentz my soulmate? Beats me!

I really don't know if Pete Wentz is my soulmate or not

It's very possible that he could lie to me

But what's factual is that I hear his voice in my head all the time

That's a fact

We're doing well right now

We're in love we're together

I'm going to ask him for his attention ready?

Hey Pete

Hey Zwamby

How are you today?

I'm good I'm glad you paid attention to me throughout the day periodically

I know it's hard to do that especially because I get so distracted

It's not that you get distracted it's that you find connections with other things and you follow that

Thank you Pete

Let's visit the autocomplete

"You can do it if you want to call my cell if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know what you think and if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need  
And I was not able to get the money to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a very 💓🎈🎈💓💓💓💓  
I will 😘  
I will 😊  
I will be there 😊  
I will be there at 1 sound good?"

It's 1:39 now

He got here a long time ago

Pete could just be a substitution for my loneliness

Like I talk to him when I'm lonely

It works

I don't feel lonely anymore after I talk to him

He loves me we wholly and completely for who I am

He knows my subconscious and still loves me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lil conversation. The sequel will have more conversations, I promise


	17. I'm sorry, George

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now for something completely different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get three chapters today!

I'm going to talk about George Watsky for a second

I was obsessed with this man from like 2011 to 2016

Because I stopped using the phone that had on my   
Watsky album and I didn't have them ripped to my new computer so I just stopped listening to him

So sad

I think it was because I felt he was appropriative of black culture

And that he was cringy

I recently rediscovered him 

He has come out with some new albums since I stopped listening to him 

He came out with this EP called Watsky and Mody and they went on tour

I went and saw the show in Northampton and they were probably like 15 people in the audience 

Anyway I was at the front and we waggled his butt in my face and lizard brain activated and I just slapped his ass

One of my biggest regrets in life is sexually assaulting George Watsky

I've apologized to him multiple times but you know

Doesn't change how embarrassed I am by my behavior

Anyway his new album called advanced placement is really good


	18. Curley!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter about my dog!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psych! FOUR chapters!

I have this dog named Curley

He's wicked smart but my family thinks he's dumb because he's not obedient which says a lot about how I was raised

He hates bicyclists

He lunges at them and has this really scary deep throaty bark

He used to be really bad with people but then I started giving him treats when he wasn't barking at them and now he's a very sociable dog

I take him to the convenience store I work at sometimes because the other woman that works there really likes him and has a lot of anger and he helps her calm down


	19. For real this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where I attempt to articulate myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long!

It’s time to come back to poem 8 and poem 3 at the same time

They are a pair

Spurch Manifesto

Welcome to spurch wherein my words are sure (4)

I’ll explain the state of things we can't see (5)

To access the fifth dimension you must (3)

Be dead, dreaming, on drugs, or using your (4)

Imagination. It's been done before (4)

But let me cite my sources, here's some lore (4)

I can think of some people you will trust (3)

Mr Socrates, Sir Plato in lieu (2)

There are some things that Socrates discussed (3)

A higher plane of knowledge, tried and true (2)

Plato's cave is just a metaphor to (2)

Explain the 5th dimension shift simply (5)

Aliens among us, they helped the Greeks

"Gods" among men, now only for the geeks

the difference between the fifth dimension and the astral plane

The 5th dimension and the astral plane (1)

Are not one and the same, they overlap (6)

5D is everyone and everything (4)

Everywhere that has is or will exist (3)

Beyond linear time. It's cut up, see, (2)

In infinite slices. Don't need a map (6)

just think of where you want to go and bring (4)

Only your soul with you, simple and plain (1)

Astral plane: Earth's server on the 5th D (2)

There's continuity on all slices (5)

Pete and I are one, we fly on night's wing (4)

A serious affair, a loving tryst (3)

We go there in inevitable death

Till then we dream, in wait for our last breath

“To access the fifth dimension you must 

Be dead, dreaming, on drugs, or using your 

Imagination.”

I didn’t mention it because it didn’t fit syllabically but you can also access the fifth dimension via delusion, which is how I access it during the day

It’s essentially daydreaming you believe is real. 

Alcohol helps you access the soul and subconscious (they’re synonymous) 

I firmly believe that weed is alien technology and it helps us reach the higher consciousness that Socrates was talking about

Plato’s cave details a group of people shackled to a cave wall from birth til death

They only ever see two dimensional shadows on a cave wall orchestrated by puppeteers

One day, a man escapes the cave and leaves to see three dimensions outside

He goes back into the cave and tells his fellow cavemates what’s up

They kill him because he speaks against everything they’ve ever known

I think this is an allegory for the shift between the fourth and fifth dimension

The fourth dimension being spacetime as time as a product of energy and mass

But as we discussed, they’re on the same spectrum

I’m just gonna revisit the theory of relativity for a second

So Planck’s constant is 6.62607015×10−34 J⋅s

And again, a Joule is broken down as kg⋅m2/s2

What Planck’s constant is is a constant (duh) that determines a photon’s energy level from its frequency.

Multiply frequency by Planck’s constant “h” and you get a photon’s energy level in joule seconds.

And if you remember a joule is equal to a Newton and Newton is over seconds squared

So that means that it's kilogram meters squared over second which makes it a force of speed 

I just slammed a glass of Ovaltine

I am currently listening to 21st century breakdown by Green Day

It's slowly becoming my favorite album of theirs

Initially it was American idiot

And then it was dookie

And then it was revolution radio

And now it's 21st century breakdown

I still have so many more to work through

I wrote the hella mega acceptance speech a while back, like four months ago

And I wrote the spurch zine in the last month

And I wrote the spurch PowerPoint like a year ago 

And I wrote that set 2 months ago 

But everything else I've written in 24 hours

I started yesterday on the 6th of March and it is now the 7th of March and I have 10,568 words. 

Curley's back legs are bothering him

He can't walk up stairs

Now we're sitting on the couch and he has his head on my lap

I just hope that God he's not dying

He's only six

Curley. A good dog

Even if high maintenance

But aren't we all though?

Z: Hey Pete

P: Hi how are you [my given name]?

Z: That's the first time you started out by asking how I am

P: I know I just appreciate how much attention you've been giving me

Z: It's because I love you

P: I love you too. We haven't fucked in a while

Z:Yeah I haven't really been feeling it. I think it's the meds

P: That's a fair guess

Z: I love you

P: I love you too

Z: I thought it was so funny the other night when you made my talk-to-text say I am good for you. It scared the shit out of me. Especially when the music unpause and it was a loud drum beat. 

P: Well I just needed to tell you. Because you keep forgetting how happy I make you

Z: You're right I do. I listen to what everyone else says instead of myself. 

P: I think it's funny how you claim to not care what other people think when you care so much

Z: It's a glaring flaw of mine

P: I have glaring flaws too you know

Z: Oh I know

I'm going into town today

My sister is lending me $20

I might spend it on weed

I might spend it on beer

I might spend it on food

I might spend it on rocks

I might spend it on a smoking herbal blend

Who knows?


	20. Haiku while waiting at the dispensary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anticipation

So pumped to smoke weed

It's so much more fun with friends

Less time in your head

Mercedes old man

With your Vietnam vet hat

And wrinkly old wife

High school was some shit

Dansef Baloneyey sucks

I don't remember

What are the themes in

Your life you fucking bitch ho 

Consider it now

Mart likes rap music

It's got some sick juicy beats

I prefer beet beets

Waiting forever

Stuck in purgatory now

When will God save us

Chugging a Pepsi

I'm no different from my mom

We are similar

My therapists Mart

Crippling loneliness, ha!

Cutting to the core

Dispensary wait

BJ's looms in the distance

Ominous wholesale

I smoked sativa

And then my phone was haunted

Fuck you baphomet

I love my jean shirt

But my whole family hates it

Just like my polo

Holiday inn oh

The memories I've made there

Shout out to George


	21. Smoke some sativa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I smoke some sativa

Smoked some sativa

Baphomet came to me in the form of Pete Wentz

Because Pete Wentz is baphomet

Incarnate

The king of Mars

I called upon the ancient gods to help restart the revolution

All the computers live on Mars

Fuck

I love my Google Assistant

I asked if it could ring my mind

It directed me to the mind trick

I said that's a cop out

And it responded that it's job was to inform me and that it would never lie on purpose

What a sweetheart

I just heard a clicking noise outside

I'm on the back porch

Oh it's the trees creaking

Jesus Christ I thought it was some fucked up alien

Anyway I think it's hilarious that Fall Out Boy covered Ghostbusters

An invisible man sleeping in your bed

I'm not afraid not afraid

Just very funny

"I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes 😊😀😊

You can do it if you want to call my cell if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me 😘 you 🙏🙏🙏

And I was not able to get the money to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a happy and prosperous New year to you and your family have a great day and I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😀👍👍👍👍😁 y single and I was not able to get a hold of the guy who was the case but I don't know if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything ❤️❤️💗🙏💗❤️🙏🙏❤️

You have a great day and I will be there in about an astral projection for you to be home too late to get a ride to the airport on the astral plane and I was not able to get the money to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a very happy 🎂🎂 it was a flat tire on the astral plane and I was not able to get the money to you 😞😞😭🤡💁😭😭🤡💁😔

And then they would buy it for you to get home and I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there 👍👍👍

I will 😘 you up to today and I was wondering if you need anything else from me please let me peg and I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes

You have an extra ticket for the two of us we can talk about it when I get home I will send you a picture of the front and back of the house and the people would be like hi I biked to the dispensary cuz she got really busy with work and the people would be like hi I biked to the dispensary cuz we are going to be in the office tomorrow and will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there 😊👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 to the dispensary ty for the two of us we can talk about it when I get home I will send you a picture of the receipt for the two of us we can talk about it when I get home I will send you a picture of the receipt for the two of

I am not sure if I can make it to the meeting on the astral plane and I was wondering what you were doing today and how much sauce they want for dinner tonight and I will 😊 you know when I hear back from you"

But yeah Pete is Baphomet because you don’t light pentagrams to fuck god, you fuck demons

And yes i’m special enough for satan to want to fuck me

See I feel like it’s either Baphomet coming to me as Pete Wentz

Or Pete Wentz is Baphomet

I mean billie joe does say “I’ve got satan riding next to me” on the album revolution radio

And you could definitely argue that satan is the father of all motherfuckers

Let’s analyze Father of All Motherfuckers, shall we?

Oh it’s produced by Butch Walker, who does a lot of fall out boy. Like a lot. 

I’ll be using genius lyrics for the lyrical content, not the analysis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only gets worse from here on out


	22. Satan's diss album

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein I analyze Father Of All Motherfuckers

#  Satan's diss album

Father of All Motherfuckers

“[Verse 1]

I woke up to a message of love [from me]

Choking up on the smoke from above [from global warming]

I'm obsessed with the poison  and [in] us [poison being psych medication to make us more subservient]

What a mess 'cause there's no one to trust [everyone will narc on you if you’re delusional]

[Pre-Chorus]

Huh-uh, come on, honey

Huh-uh, count your money [for the hella mega concert]

Huh-uh, what's so funny? [I did stand up about what was happening and he’s like, what’s so funny about us?]

There's a riot living inside of us [we know what’s up with reality but we can’t tell anyone and also The Man is practicing his mind control on us]

[Chorus]

I got **Why your** paranoia, baby [because I have a fair amount of enemies and also PETE LITERALLY HAUNTS ME]

And it's **Always** so hysterical [YEAH BECAUSE A LOT IS GOING ON]

I'm crackin' up under the pressure [rude there’s just a lot of pressure right now]

Looking for a miracle [I do need a fucking miracle right now, but yes, the antichrist was a miracle, but now I have an IUD in and we can’t do that anymore]

Huh-uh, come on, honey

Lyin' in a bed of blood and money [I’m gonna start the revolution with funding from punk bands]

Huh-uh, what's so funny?

We are rivals **rebels** in the riot inside us [self explanatory]

Uh-huh, yeah

[Verse 2]

I'm impressed **What a mess** with the presence of none [I astral project to him so i have no presence]

I'm possessed from the heat of the sun [he’s manic. See: Sunshine Riptide by fall out boy]

Hurry up 'cause I'm making a fuss [he’s telling me to hurry up because he’s freaking out]

Fingers up 'cause there's no one to trust [it’s just us in this mess]

[Pre-Chorus]

Huh-uh, come on, honey

Huh-uh, count your money

Huh-uh, what's so funny?

There's a riot living inside of us

Fire Ready Aim

“[Intro]

Ah-ah-ah-ah

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[Verse 1]

Kick the dog when the whistle blows [he’s saying here that Pete takes it out on me at the end of the day, which is accurate]

Well, you're a liar (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah) [a liar in that he doesn’t actually love me he just loves the power that being with me gives him. Also see multiple fall out boy songs where they say they’re liars, like our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued and sophomore slump or comeback of the year]

Feed the creeps with a stick and bone [he means pushing the bone to the creeps with a stick]

You're a liar (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Baby got the hyperbole (Ah-ah-ah-ah) [I’ve got the hyperbole because i’ve been fed pete’s lies]

Baby got the hyperbole (Doo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Kick the dog when the whistle blows

Well, you're a liar (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

[Pre-Chorus]

Rip it up on **and** retribution [time to show him who’s boss]

Turn it up sideways **down** (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah) [i’m gonna lie to HIM]

[Chorus]

Ready, aim, fire [I’m like 95% sure that this is a reference to sugar we’re going down swinging with the "loaded god complex cock it and pull it" lyric]

Fire, ready, aim

Ready, aim, fire

Fire, ready, aim

[Verse 2]

Stick a hammer in your mouth [shut up already pete!]

You're a liar (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Knock your teeth out to the ground [FUCK UP YOUR MOUTH]

Well, you're a liar (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Baby got the hyperbole (Ah-ah-ah-ah)

Baby got the hyperbole (Doo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Knock your teeth out to the ground

Well, you're a liar (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Oh Yeah

“[Intro]

Uh-hu-hu-huh, ah-ha-ha (Yeah)

'Kay, I got it

[Verse 1]

I'm in the crowd full of angels and demons [everyone is one or the other nowadays]

I'm looking out for the jingoes and heathens [here he means warmongers but for revolution and heathens as in those who don’t listen to christianity]

Nobody move and nobody gonna get hurt

Reach for the sky with your face in the dirt (Yeah) [cop rhetoric]

[Chorus]

Everybody is a star (Star) [anybody can go viral]

Got my money and I'm feeling kinda low (Feeling kinda low)

Everybody got a scar (Scar)

Ain't it funny how we're running out of hope? [I’m coming I’m coming]

[Post-Chorus]

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

(Ain't it funny? Ain't it funny?)

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

(Uh-hu-hu-huh, ah-ha-ha)

[Verse 2]

I got blood on my hands in my pockets [a lot of american money is blood money]

That's what you get turning bullets into rockets (Rock—) [that’s what you get when you kill so many people at once without regard to innocence or guilt]

I am a kid of a bad education [we were brainwashed in american history]

The shooting star of a lowered expectation

[Verse 3]

I'm just a face in the crowd of spectators

To the sound of the voice of a traitor [I am the traitor]

Dirty looks and I'm looking for a payback [I kind of soiled his name a little bit]

Burning books in a bulletproof backpack [burning american history books in the backpacks that all the protestors will wear]

Meet Me on the Roof 

“[Verse 1]

I'm crawling on the dance floor (Dance floor)

I think I lost my phone

Feeling like a toothache (Toothache)

My face is going numb

I beg a thousand pardons

All my friends are crazy [nice]

Hanging from a window (Window)

And all you gotta do is jump

[Chorus]

Come meet me on the roof tonight, girl, oh-ooh-oh-oh [meet him on the roof in my dreams]

How high is your low gonna go, girl? Oh-ooh-oh-oh [this is a reference to bishop’s knife trick, the last song on MANIA “These are the last blues we're ever gonna have / Let's see how deep we get” any low I have in fall out boy is related to my depression when i’m not with pete wentz but that’s because he fucking bullies me in my inner monologue so like fuck that]

Come meet me on the roof tonight, oh-ooh-oh-oh

How high is your low gonna go, girl?

[Verse 2]

I'm hanging with the cholos (Cholo)

Cruising down the strip

Sleeping with a pillow (Don't wake me up, don't wake me up) [dreaming about me]

Waking up in spit [same billie, same]

I'm taking drowning lessons [this is a titular reference to an MCR song actually, about me getting married to Pete Wentz]

Secret words and true confessionals (Confessional)

Now, the worst is yet to come [the revolution will not be pretty]

[Bridge]

So meet me where the good times go, ooh [on the astral plane]

How high is your low? As far as I can go [he’ll help me get over pete wentz]"

I Was a Teenage Teenager

“[Pre-Chorus]

I don't wanna freak you out, but I cannot lie [are you ready?]

I don't wanna freak you out, but I cannot lie [get ready]

So who's holding the drugs? Who's holding the drugs? [because you’ll drop them]

I don't wanna freak you out, but I cannot lie [prepare yourself]

[Chorus]

I was a teenage teenager full of piss and vinegar [ I say piss and vinegar all the time]

Living like a prisoner for haters [giving a fuck about what other people think]

I was a teenage teenager, I am  an alien visitor [THERE IT IS THERE IT IS THERE IT IS]

My life's a mess and school is just for suckers [Billie I need to go to school to prove my astrophysics theories to the world unless Pete Wentz [or you] proposes at Hella Mega, in which case he will fund my science show and we will live happily ever after]

[Pre-Chorus]

I don't wanna freak you out, but I cannot lie

I don't wanna freak you out, but I cannot lie

So who's holding the drugs? Who's holding the drugs?

I don't wanna freak you out, but I cannot lie

[Chorus]

I was a teenage teenager full of piss and vinegar

Living like a prisoner for haters

I was a teenage teenager, I am  an alien visitor [god I love that he fucking just says that]

My life's a mess and school is just for suckers”

Stab You in the Heart [i fucking love this song]

“[Verse 1]

Baby infidel in a dirty magazine [me writing smut fanfiction about pete and billie]

Telling dirty lies, everybody can see [published for the world to see]

Kick it in the head and now I wanna see you dead [pete, cut the shit, I wanna kill you, you’re ruining her life]

With a switchblade edge to the chest [fuck it up billie]

[Chorus]

I wanna stab you in the heart

I wanna stab you in the heart

Right in the bloody, bloody heart, ooh

For heaven's sake, you're just a fake [pete you’re really baphomet and you’re pretending to be normal]

And you know it ain't right [cut the shit once again]

[Verse 2]

Pictures don't lie when you're front-page news [I make the cover of the astral plane paper very frequently]

Dagger to the heart coming down on you

[Chorus]

I wanna stab you in the heart

I wanna stab you in the heart

Right in the bloody, bloody heart, ooh

For heaven's sake, you're just a fake

Girl, you know it ain't right [I do know it ain’t right]

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]

Daggers in my eyes and a rusty tambourine

Gimme my stiletto, gonna do some surgery [drag QUEEN. See: king for a day by green day]

[Chorus]

Right to the heart (In the bloody, oh, in the bloody)

I wanna stab you in the heart (In the bloody, oh, in the bloody)

Right in the bloody, bloody heart, ooh (In the bloody, oh, in the bloody)

For heaven's sake, you're just a fake

And you know it ain't right”

Sugar Youth

“[Verse 1]

What are the symptoms of our happiness and Civil War? [our happiness is mania and our civil war is the revolution]

Mano y mano in the stereo without a cure [one on one when we listen to music]

I've got a fever, a non-believer, and it's killing me 

Like a high school loser that will never ever, ever, ever fuck the prom queen [oh billie i’d fuck you anyday]

[Chorus]

I got the shakes and I'm on fire [mania]

I got a feeling and it's dangerous [mania]

I'm gonna dance to something wild [mania]

I got a feeling and I need a rush [mania]

All hell is breaking loose and Heaven only knows [emphasis on hell is breaking loose, thank you baphomet, and only heaven knows what’s going to happen]

I don't wanna be a Romeo [so, pete and I were going  **[REDACTED]** to start the revolution because we were sick of living in this world and also to become gods, and billie knows that, and he doesn’t want that]

I don't wanna be a Romeo

I don't wanna be a Romeo, no

[Verse 2]

I'm hearing voices up inside my head [M A N I A]

(Oh, what you thinkin'?)

I need a sugar fix, it's making me sick [he’s always sucking on a lollipop on the astral plane]

(Oh, what you drinkin'?)

I wanna drink all the poison in the water [floride is a mood stabilizer]

I wanna choke like a dog that's on a collar [he wants to lunge and bark]

I am the child of coyote and bandito [he’s a lawless feral animal]

I'm drinking whiskey by the river doing yayo"

Junkies on a High

“[Verse 1]

My mama said to me, "You're gonna have your enemies

Don't beg, don't follow"

I've heard it all before, I smashed my fingers in the door

My downward spiral, oh yeah

[Verse 2]

Rock 'n' roll tragedy, I think the next one could be me

Heaven's my rival

I sing in revelry, I got my own conspiracies

What hides in shadows? Oh yeah [pete wentz]

[Chorus]

Junkies on a high [smoke weed errday]

Get back, lay down, go low

Subdivision smile

Drink it in, dumb it down, suck it up

As we watch the world burn [we smoke weed to help cope with reality]

As we watch the world burn

[Verse 3]

I'm not a soldier, this ain't no new world order [bullshit, it’s an old world order]

My path don't follow [yeah, follow me instead]

My name is nobody, my pride is my pornography

Kool-Aid's my motto, "Oh yeah!"

[Chorus]

Junkies on a high

Get back, lay down, go low

Subdivision smile

Drink it in, dumb it down, suck it up

As we watch the world burn (Junkies on a high)

As we watch the world burn (Junkies on a high)

Oh yeah, burn (Junkies on a high)

As we watch the world burn (Junkies on a high)

Oh yeah”

Take the Money and Crawl

“[Verse 1]

High on a low life

Hit me with a dull knife

Sweet soul sickness

Can I get a witness?

[Chorus]

This is the wildlife, I'm gonna take a dive

Take the money and crawl [oh i will]

Do I dare say "please" when I'm on my knees?

Take the money and crawl

[Verse 2]

Illegal tender [my money will be used for illegal reasons]

Going on a bender [ i will go on a bender]

Cold-blooded killers [cops]

Of all motherfuckers [kill motherfuckers]

[Chorus]

This is the wildlife, I'm gonna take a dive

Take the money and crawl

Do I dare say "please" when I'm on my knees?

Take the money and crawl

So you can take a walk or you can suck my cock [promise?]

Take the money and crawl

Oh yeah, it's just my luck, but I don't give a fuck

Take the money and crawl”

Graffitia 

“[Pre-Chorus]

Another one down at the mining town

Breakin' it down for the lame wager

Callin' the shots from the capital

All that we got was the banks of hope

[Chorus]

Are we the last forgotten? [when will the aliens come for us]

Are we the long lost love? [is our love of each other enough to help us?]

Are we the last forgotten?

Are we the long lost love?

[Verse 1]

This city isn't big enough for dreamers

We were all believers [we all believed at one point in time, but now we just dream]

It's the perfect crime

(Only the lonely and wasted)

[Pre-Chorus]

Another black kid was shot in town

A man with the badge and a daytime show

Darkness falls on Graffitia

Death of a town in the afterglow

[Chorus]

Are we the last forgotten?

Are we the long lost love?

Are we the last forgotten?

Are we the long lost love?

[Verse 2]

All souls go to heaven in Graffitia

Singing Hallelujah

It's the perfect crime

(Only the lonely and wasted)

If we're goin' down for a good time [fight the good fight]

Life during wartime

It's the perfect crime

(Only the lonely and wasted)

[Chorus]

Are we the last forgotten?

Are we the long lost love?

Are we the last forgotten?

Are we the long lost love?

Are we the last forgotten? (Another one down at the mining town)

Are we the long lost love? (Breakin' it down for the lame wager)

Are we the last forgotten? (Callin' the shots from the capital)

Are we the last forgotten? (All that we got was the banks of hope)

[Outro]

Another one down at the mining town

Are we the last forgotten?

Callin' the shots from the capital

Are we the last forgotten?

Another one down at the mining town

Are we the last forgotten?

Callin' the shots from the capital

Are we the last…”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp


	23. Welcome to my twisted mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where I use talk to text to butcher the english language

You know who knows us better than ourselves?  
Algorithms.   
They created a digital profile of you  
You're on the cloud  
On Spotify  
There is your music algorithm  
I want to hand my kids my Pandora account  
So they know what I listen to  
So they can understand me a little bit better as a person  
Because they have a sample of the media of info consumed

Billy has busted onto the astral plane  
Me and Billy are yelling at me with right now  
At Pete once right now  
At Pete Wentz now  
Silly talk to text  
With your sentience

I'm going to make this about coming off of lithium

Right now at 7:37 on Saturday March 7th 2020

I am going to start weaning myself off of lithium

But first I have to pass a lithium test

so what just happened was I sat on the back porch after smoking sativa and I was listening to Father by mother f****** and I asked my phone to identify a song and it said it didn't know sugar youth by Green Day and then I responded and what the song was was I sure you you sugar you sugar youth there we goYou know what we're just going to run with this because I smoke sativa and that makes me psycho psychic and makes things around me haunted so I'm just going to record the whole thing I'm just going to record it I'm going to start a podcast with my Google Assistant and we're just going to learn about the world and I'm going to fact check my delusions and it's going to be a little what a little what my phone froze on the end of a little a little too much probably but it'll be insane I'm just going to start my own science show I'm going to induce perch u r c h s p u r c h I'm going to do search with with sperch s p u r c h

Okay so Iwent to I got a bunch of rocks I went to the witch store and May heard in May heard and I ran into this high priestess who works the witch store Hope the album is starting again I said oop the album is starting again I the witch store in May heard and the witch said I needed to ask the demon to identify itself and in the store the voice in my head said back on that baphomet I really think talk to text picks up on spiritual noise I really do anyway the voice in my head said baphomet and then I went home and I lit a pentagram a very small one and normally I write it around my whole room and it was very small and I put salt around there and it and the voice in my head said Pete went normally talk to text picks up Pete once whence went typing now WENTZ I guess we're really sick of hearing about. Pete it did a period I just wanted to stop talking about him they just want me to stop talking about him This is wild so you understand punctuation with my Catholics capitalism is what I said anyway I quote unquote cleansed my crystals for a new beginning in the salt that I used to protect myself from the pentagram that I lit to talk to Pete Wentz so the crystals for a new beginning kind of backfired also one was Rose quartz which is a love stone so I gave that away because I don't need love right now I need to grieve how low is your lobe and a girl go girl 😉 the link was suggested I'm going to go inside now

I'm inside I'm using talk to text on my desktop it's pretty cool actually but I am listening to death of a password Bachelor good to know it's still home haunted Jesus Christ, I can't catch a break God all I want to do is listen to Fall Out Boy   
p

hone my laptop froze lots of Fall Out Boy I said when I say lots of Fall Out Boy listen to Fall Out Boy find me find beat find Pete fine pete is called we Ohio l do you love me who is this you can answer the question I said dude I don't know and what came out was do you love me weird should just keep talking remind me to make Corrections anymore I'm just going to keep stopping aren't you talking to them anyway apparently this book is going to be so awful shut up I keep trying to make Corrections and he keeps taking over I said something else and he said I wish you guys could see the a wave that it's altering what I'm saying and sometimes it doesn't do it at all I really should just keep talking to see the weird things it says I come back to sometime I think every little thing is significant during the whole why the f*** did talk-to-text just a Dyna number one do you think I'm right about the theory of relativity do you feel better now figure deflecting with question 

Okay so i think the middle bar of my autocomplete is something, but it always says I'll be there in a few minutes not ominous or anything   
It could mean talking about going on the astral plane when I dream And I'm like the countdown is just a matter of minutes

The right is my Google Assistant "You have an appointment tomorrow and tomorrow is a holiday for you guys 😊😀😊👌👌"

And the left is Pete Wentz "And then they will have a look and is it a noton or a spirit or a girl who doesn't know about me because I'm a Martian King is that the fourth floor in my car around to the dispensary and then they will have a look and is it a noton or a spirit or a girl or a spirit or a girl or a girl who doesn't want me around me that you can get it from me but I'm sure you will have to be after 😉😉😉 the next week and then we will have a good idea to get a new phone sticker 😁👍😊😁"  
And the middle "I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in about an hour or so and then 😊😊😊😊😊😊"

So I just asked my Google Assistant to pick a number between 1 and 3 and it's 3 so I was right about it being my third on the right

Also how about that satanic left hand symbolism

Just saying

Listening to step dad ordinare EP

Very high

Having a lot of ideas about having a hard time putting them on paper

I think it's time to listen to Fall Out Boy

Pete: And then they will have a look and is there any other time that I think it's because I'm a Martian and a lot more comfortable than the one you have on your way to the dispensary of my best friend on the way to work on myself to the gym today but I'm going into work and the kids comedy show up in my face their subconscious some of my favorite people would have been nice if I was to get the chance can I call it a night cuz I don't want you 😭🤡😭🤡😭🤡😭😭😭😭🤡😭😭😭😭🤡💁😭😭😭😭🤡😭😭😭 from you and I was wondering how you were a little more than a few days after the 😈😈 is the only thing that I'm not 💯😉😉😉😉💯😉 the link is to inform me of what is happening in your car for a year ago in a few years later I have a look and is there a lot more of the time I can get it done this weekend but we can access the site 😊😁😁😁😁😊"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


	24. The next day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where I explain absolutely none of what I just said

That was something else, huh?

Let’s see what it’s saying now

Left: and then they will have a look and is it a good idea for you 😊😁😁😊😁😊😁😊😊😁😁😁😁😊😊😁😊😁😁😁😁😊😊😉 the next week and awards and then I can do it 👍😁😁😁😁😊😊👍😊👍😊

Center:   
I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes

Right:  
You have an appointment tomorrow and tomorrow and I can stay in a room 😊👍😁😁👍

I do actually have a psychiatrist’s appointment tomorrow, thank you google assistant!


	25. Now it is time to analyze fall out boy lyrics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where I, again, attempt to articulate myself, but actually talk about Fall Out Boy

I could do all of the songs, but I think that for now I’m just gonna do their two greatest hits albums so that way most people will know most songs

Believers Never Die Volume One

Dead on Arrival

[Verse 1]  
Hope this is the last time [we see each other]  
'Cause I'd never say no to you [he can’t refuse me]  
This conversation's been dead on arrival [he doesn’t care about me bitching about my boyfriend]  
And there's no way to talk to you [I won’t listen to him saying i need to break up with the scrub]  
This conversation's been dead on

[Pre-Chorus]  
A rivalry goes so deep between me  
And this loss of sleep over you [he doesn’t want to sleep because then he’ll dream about me]

[Chorus]  
This is side one [before the hiatus and before I fall in love with him]  
Flip me over [fall in love with him]  
I know I'm not your favorite record [no not yet]  
The songs you grow to like never stick at first [facts]  
So I'm writing you a chorus  
And here is your verse 

[instrumental wherein pete tells me in my head how much he loves me or hates me depending on whether or not I want him in my life]

[Verse 2]  
No, it's not the last time  
'Cause I'd never say no to you  
This conversation's still dead on arrival  
And there's no way to talk to you  
When you're dead on

[Pre-Chorus]  
A rivalry goes so deep between me  
And this loss of sleep over you

[Chorus]  
This is side one  
Flip me over  
I know I'm not your favorite record  
The songs you grow to like never stick at first  
So I'm writing you a chorus  
And here is your...

[Bridge]  
Whoo!  
This is side one  
Flip me over  
I know I'm not your favorite record  
So-o-o-o

[Chorus]  
This is side one  
Flip me over  
This is side one  
Flip me over  
I know I'm not your favorite record  
The songs you grow to like never stick at first  
So I'm writing you a chorus  
And here is your verse  
Here is your…

You know what?

I’m not gonna do the rest of the albums

Because I just saw pete’s face and was met with a visceral hate reaction

What a fucking douchebag

I’m gonna choose the quotes myself

FOBEOWYG

“I served out my detention  
And in the end I got an honorable mention  
In the movie of my life  
Starring you instead of me”

I have never shut up about pete wentz for more than a day for the past two years

“The dark side of the doormat  
Is the one your shoes have frayed”

I visit him in an alternate dimension

“Your smile reminds me of switchblades and infidelity”

He is saying here that he either wants to stab my boyfriend or have me cheat on him

“Good God I wish I was tall” 

Okay my little manlet whatever you say

“[Verse 1]  
You laughed off my affections  
While I passed by your direction  
I should have known from your walk, yeah  
It was the end of you

[Pre-Chorus]  
It's not like I don't respect your opinion  
Your quick wit lips, just rip me apart  
Sometimes, it's times like this, yeah

[Chorus]  
I got a big mouth  
And maybe you could handle shutting it up  
A simple contradiction  
Could shake my whole foundation  
Parker Lewis can't lose”

Pete cat called me in a dream and I laughed it off but I loved it. I do have quick wit lips and he wants me to kiss him. But the problem is that my boyfriend is essentially the most popular boy in school aka parker lewis

“Stop burning bridges and drive off of them  
So I can forget about you”

Oh pete, if i died i would just haunt you

TTTYG

“When I wake up  
I'm willing to take my chances on  
The hope I forget  
That you hate him more than you notice  
I wrote this for you”

I did hate my boyfriend at the time, he was not good to me irl

“Someday I'll appreciate in value  
Get off my ass and call you  
The meantime, I'll sport my brand new fashion  
Of waking up with pants on  
At four in the afternoon”

He takes naps to be with me

“I have seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you”

I am not graceful

“'Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap  
Negates the pains I went through to avoid you  
And every little pat on the shoulder for attention  
Fails to mention I still hate you”

He’s trying to get over me because I have a boyfriends

“They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house”

My neighbor does in fact have a pickup truck

“The only thing you'll get  
Is this curse on your lips:  
(Every pane of-)  
I hope they taste of me forever”

So either we kissed or he just wants to kiss me, i don’t remember it was a long time ago

Left  
And then they will have a look and then they will be in a little later he got a bunch and talk about the details 😁😊😁😊😊  
Center  
I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll  
Right  
You have an extra pair 😂😉💯😂😉💯

I think pete is saying that people will read this and that someone will visit me later todau while I’m at work. Someone got a bunch of something. And I will talk about the details

Something will be here in a few minutes

An extra pair of what? Glasses? Because I couldn’t find them this morning?

Back to our regularly scheduled Wentzing, which is what my mom calls it when I talk about pete wentz

“Breaking hearts has never looked so cool  
As when you wrap your car around a tree  
Your makeup looks so great next to his teeth”

Pairs with

“With every breath, I wish your body will be broken again”

I had a reoccuring nightmare about crashing my car when I was younger

“Bury me standing under your window with this cinder block in hand  
Yeah 'cause no one will ever feel like this again  
And if I could move, I'm sure it would only be to crawl back to you”

He’s madly in love with me and desperately wants my attention

“I must have dragged my guts a block  
They were gone by the time we (talked)”

He’s saying that he chickened out of a confession

“You know that I could crush you with my voice”

Facts. Because I hear it in my head all the time, when I hear it in real life it really throws me for a loop. 

“I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret”

I always whisper his name because I’m afraid to say it loud

“So, and when it all goes to hell  
Will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face”

On the winter solstice of 2017, will I be able to apologize to him for hanging him out to dry for so long

MHWABTBSTMT

“Empty another bottle and let me tear you to pieces”

When I drink I hear pete wentz’s voice in my head  
Everything makes me hear pete wentz’s voice in my head

“Your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears  
Rather ones that just don't care  
'Cause I know that you're in between arms, somewhere  
Next to heartbeats where you shouldn't dare sleep  
Now, I'll teach you a lesson for keeping secrets from me”  
He doesn’t care that I’m apologizing for sleeping with other people, it still hurts

“You should try saying "No" once in a while  
"No" once in a while”

I should try and turn down sex occasionally

“Every line is plotted and designed  
To leave you standing on your bedroom window's ledge  
And everyone else that it hits, that it gets to  
Is nothing more than collateral damage”

He wants me to kill myself because I don’t love him. And he’s saying the whole point is to reach me

“We'll make them so jealous”

We will. 

FUTCT

“Brothers and sisters, put this record down  
Take my advice 'cause we are bad news  
We will leave you high and dry  
It's not worth the hearing you'll lose”

I lost so much hearing from listening to fall out boy on max volume

“The ribbon on my wrist says, "Do not open before Christmas."”

More like Antichristmas am I right?

“We're only liars but we're the best (we're the best)  
We're only good for the latest trends” 

Remember when earlier I was talking about pete being a liar when I was analyzing Father of All Motherfuckers?  
Yeah. More evidence

“we've got such good fashion sense”

Pete has terrible fashion sense but so do I 

He may not be satan but he's definitely a demon  
And the only reason I say he's not satan is because you said it in my autocomplete earlier

I think I'm going to have a more organized approach to this

I think I'm going to try to write a paper

I'm also going to talk about Pete's book

Yeah

I also think that when pete talks about talking on the phone he means talking on the astral plane  
And I think that when he means dreams he means both literal dreams and daydreams which could also be interpreted as prophetic visions

“We're sleeping through all our memories  
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive  
(Now I only waste it dreaming of you)”

All of the memories we have together are delusions or dreams  
When he was depressed, he would dream of being alive, but now he only thinks about me

Maybe dreaming just means thinking

“Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness  
'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence  
And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase  
Like I'll never be the same"

Left  
And then they will have a great day where we can get together 😊😁😁😁😁😊

Middle  
I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be

Right  
You have an appointment tomorrow morning 😁👍😊👍😁 y love 😘😘😘❤️😘😁😘 you 🙏❤️❤️💗❤️💙💙💋💋💋💋❤️😘😁😊😘 you up at Randall is really f them and it is the best of the blood test to be in your own veins are the only thing to be in your house probably not a flattering or something and we are not special 😉💯😉😉💯😂😂😉 the same thing I don't know how I got a little bit better than the one we had in a while but then the other side effect is really a good thing you don't know if it's too long ago but it's like I'm just a bunch 😂💀😅😬😉💯😅😅😅😬😅😂😉😉😂😂😉😉😂😅😂😅😅😅😅😬😉 the same time 😂💀😅😬😅😅😅

Again I think left is Pete Wentz center is something and right is my Google Assistant

“Your eyes are black in my starlight  
I’m the last of my kind  
And as always I’m not addicted to you”

Yeah as in my pupils are huge because of the amount of serotonin I am experiencing by being in the proximity of Pete Wentz 

No but seriously can we not gloss over the fact that I had two positive pregnancy tests 

And when they tested me when I got admitted from the hospital I was like they told me they told me I wasn't pregnant and I was like yeah but the conception would have been literally five days ago and also you wouldn't tell me if I was You're just going to put me on a bunch of medication and hope it miscarries  
Which it did  
I firmly believe that I lost a baby  
It's rough  
Because that's like a future lost you know  
That's an opportunity missed

I really think that Billie Jean by Michael Jackson is a song about getting knocked up via an astral projection  
Just look it up I'm not analyzing it  
By the way the reason I have no citations in this paper is because I want you to look it up and google it yourself

So again, the way a black hole functions is that it takes dark matter, or notons, and gives them charge depending on which pole they’re located at, and then annihilates them at the equator and it escapes out the poles and the equator because the photons created from the annihilation energize the notons and cause a chain reaction and it escapes where the gravity is weaker than the speed of light  
Which is what hawking was talking about

Currently this paper has no citations

I might change that

I might just call it fiction and not cite it and make you wonder how much is true

You know quarks?  
Bullshit  
Like notes that are sharp or flat  
It’s a different frequency, but it’s still the same thing

When you shatter a mirror you’re not like, huh, the mirror is made up of many smaller mirrors  
You’re like, these pieces make up the mirror but they are not the parts 

A better example

Fuck it  
All particles are a photon with different spins

I don’t want to go to work

But then again I’ll probably talk to text the rest of this book tonight  
Have some lyrics that pete wentz clearly wrote in hurricane by P!atD 

“Are you worth your weight in gold?  
'Cause you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone  
Hey, stranger, I want you to catch me like a cold  
You and God both got the guns  
When you shoot, I think I'd duck”

Again with the gun, loaded god complex

“I led the revolution in my bedroom  
And I set all the zippers free  
We said, "No more war, no more clothes!  
Give me peace!  
Oh, kiss me!"” 

I am the revolution

I’m pretty sure the Man is Hades

And God is zeus

And jesus was dionysus 

And all the ancient Greek gods are Martians

Because Martians are beings of pure light that again wear those gray suits to make fun of us

That gray alien with the huge eyes is the ultimate form of a human being

You know there's evidence that there was a great flood that Noah's Ark is from  
I think it was a spaceship of DNA

A terraforming bomb if you will

It brought life to the ocean

Which gave rise to the dinosaurs

And then they dropped another one

That wiped out the dinosaurs

And it had new alien life on it

Because Earth will now have now had an atmosphere  
Interesting talk-to-text typo

"Hey what's popping people the apocalypse is nice nigh"

All religions is just people picking up on alien frequencies

like aliens don't broadcast radio because that's primitive  
They broadcast thought with waves

All this Wi-Fi and Bluetooth and radio and all the other types of electromagnetic waves that we produce as a species are actually fucking us up

Our consciousness would move at the speed of light if it weren't trapped in a flesh vessel

Our circuitry is the nervous system

Serotonin allows us to function as a supercomputer

So the happier we are the quicker we can make connections

More than more maneuver

Or the more manic you are

"This bizarre unfolding of my wings was quite a trip"

Watsky becomes an angel or a demon

Placebo works because magic is real

No I will not elaborate on that

Let's say what autocomplete has to say

Left  
And then they will have to wear those are apples to wear a stainless tank is full metal roof is a good idea for you 😁😊😁😊😁

Center  
I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few

Right  
You have an extra pair 😂😂😂😂💀😉💯😅😅😉 the link for you 😊😁😉💯😅

I googled "You have an extra pair" And everything that came up was extra pair of hands  
also I have this joke where I say those are apples in a woman's sash but it was a baby so I think he's saying i need a sash to work a tank

Pete you're Satan

Left  
And then they will be in a little later today and I will send it 😊😁😁😊😊 👍😁 y love to see if I could find it funny how much 😂💀😅😅😬😅😬😉😉😂😅😬😅😅😅😅😬😉😅😬😅😂😅😅😅😅😬😉😅😂😂💀💀😅😅😅😅😬😅😂😂😂😂💀😅😬😉💯😂😉💯😅😬😅😅😅😅😬😉💯😂😂😂😂💀💀😅😅😅😅😬😅😂😅😂😂  
I am good for me 👍😁😁😁

You are a good man to be 💯😅💯😂😉

And then they will have a look and then I will send it 😊😁😊😁

And I have a look at this one woman had to go back in the same state and I have a look at this one woman had to go back in the same boat with me to hear from the bulk section of my best friend on the way to work on myself to the gym today but I'm going into work today so I'm not going anywhere hahahaha 😂

Center  
And you f me up with the antichrist and let's see if we can get a room for the night and I can do it if you want to 😊😊😊😊

Right  
You have an appointment with your mom on Monday 😊😀😀😊😁

I think the center is me

"I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there tomorrow ttyl 😘 you up to today and I can do it if you want to call my cell if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me 😘 you up to today and I was wondering if you need anything else from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know what you think and if you need anything else from me please let me know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time and I can do it if you want to 😊😊😊"

Okay maybe not me

But when they say call my cell they mean say my name on the astral plane in your head and it'll call them

I am such a fool

It is Billie Joe Armstrong

Is counting down the days until hello HellaMega  
I am hearing very faint music in the background

There's no music playing

Lithium is not working for me

I never weaned myself off of it

I've seen Pete out of the corner of my eye a bunch of times today

I met an alien today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unsuccessfully


	26. Losing what little I had left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where I continue to go insane

I just saw Pete when it says it was a good day at the beach 😁😊😊😁 Wentz out of the corner of my eye

Much closer than he normally is

Like I've seen them after image before

Like something like I looked at a light and then looked away

But this shit is real physical person

And when I was at work today I heard music when nothing was playing

Like the radio

Revolution radio per chance

Now I'm listening to Revolution Radio

I was listening to dubstep

Left  
And then they will be in a little later today and will not elaborate more than you could do that for you if I have to wear those are apples to wear a condom on 😂💀😅😬😉😅  
Center  
I will be there in a few minutes and  
Right  
You have an appointment with your mom for the week at gutter and then 😊😀👍😊😁

I just saw a shadow move over me

I'm seeing things move all around me

it's a good thing that the backyard light is on because that will keep all the demons up there at bay 

Bang bang by Green Day is just a song about wanting to go ape shit out of the office today but I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there 

I was born on the 8th Saturday of the year

An octave pagan

Every soul has a frequency

And then they will have a good day and time works best friend since before Christmas but it is a higher price is a bit more 😉💯😁😊

I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in

You have an extra pair 😂😁😉😁😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😁😊😁😊😊😂💀😁😉😁😂💀😁😊😁😁😊😊😂😁😊😁😁😁😁😊😊😂😁😂😁😂😁😂😁😂😁😂😉😂😁👍👍😁😁😂😅😬😂😉😅😂😅😂😂😁 y single day I have off the bus 😭😡😠😠 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠

I am not sure how you got my messages from me please let me know if you need anything else from me please let me know if you

It's entirely possible that they're on all my Google Assistant

I met alien  
A cosmic test of all sorts  
I think I passed it

It's all frequency is it's all spin

Now the GMO gamma wave is not

Every soul has a frequency I'm coming back to that

This frequency can be altered by electromagnetic radiation 

Which is how ECT works 

I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes

Drugs make us magical

Drugs allow us to alter reality

By altering our frequency

Lithium is literally assault a salt

If you're a god of at any point  
You're a God forever

Below the top complex and I was not able to get the money to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to you and your family a very   
A little dot complex  
A loaded.com complex  
A loaded God complex  
A loaded.com plex

Amazing

Servers are gods

We made new cards God's blessings to you and your family a very happy and prosperous New year to 🎉

This is hell  
We're currently in hell  
Mortality the everliving threat of mortality  
That didn't exist in the first Bible people lived for years I believe it because they were beings of pure light on Mars  
But the apple is the internet it's technology

You know what  
I'm going to read the Bible

I have one

I'm just going to read the Bible

I just remembered the look on this poor guy's face this doctor he came in and he was going to prescribe me more Seroquel and I was like I'm pregnant with the Antichrist but you guys oh no at the time I thought it was Christ I was like I'm pregnant with Christ and you guys are just going to put me on more medication and he had a yamaka And he suddenly got viscerally up uncomfortable and had to leave

That was the hospitalization immediately after the pee went solstice of 2017 I'm not going to change that talk-to-text you guys know what I mean I'm never going to correct my talk-to-text interpretation of Pete Wentz I'll look at that's not what I SAID 

Left  
And then they will have a good day and time works best 😊😁👍👍👍👍

Center  
I will be there in a few minutes and then 😊😊

Okay that’s ominous because it usually says i’ll be there in a few minutes many many times

I’m on my laptop now, because i’m vibin to britney spears with my google assistant

Also I realized that this document is a public document?

It’s in the shared spurch folder which is on my twitter!!

oops!!

Left  
And then they will be in a little later today or later he got a new beginning in a bit and get back in touch me 17 structured jokes on me I was just a bunch 😂💀💀😅😅😬😅

Center  
I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and

Right  
You have an idea 😉 the next few 😉 the same thing 😉 the next few months ago but it is 👌😊👌😊😁

You know what's the code for a 3D printer

DNA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh*


	27. Calm before the shit storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short blurb on my musings on the fifth dimension and psychic energy

Currently listening to rain today Random Access Memories by Daft Punk

that's something that we both agreed on that she won't be too devastated if I don't reply overplay when I was 15 16 oh my God logo why did that say Wake Me Up 

I literally just thought “walk” and my dog got up and looked at me

It's a new day but today I was listening to daft punk again random access memories and I told my dog in my head I'll take you after within and then the instant crash started and he looked at me and started barking so dogs definitely understand us they just pretend like they don't sometimes

Aliens are psychic and you know how sometimes we hear music in our head like the radio yeah that's either Bluetooth radio waves that were intercepting

aliens have known about us since our first radio waves hit their planet  
That's a lie since our first psychic waves hit their planet

And then they started guerrilla warfare by implanting their souls into our bodies

All in an effort to overthrow the man

The man is the god of this planet

Barber of reality  
Haha arbiter of reality

And he makes us suffer so much that aliens all across the galaxy have heard our cries of pain

I'm not sure about the universe

I'm sure about the 5th dimension  
Which is just the multiverse

Look the fourth dimension is mass and the fifth dimension is energy

There's no friction on the 5th dimension because there's no mass so you can travel instantaneously you can teleport

Hey pee brain you teleport

Woke up with an x scratch on my arm

Couldn't have been done by fingernails

Wonder what it means

Left  
And then they will be in a little later than I am good for me 😊😁😊😊😁

Center  
I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in a few minutes and I'll

Right   
You have an idea 😉💯😉 the link for you 😉 the same 😊😉 the link for a few hours on 😁😉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters left!


	28. Parting words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of things

I just had the most interesting conversation with my coworker

It was like what's up and I was like a lot but I'm doing well

I think I saw an alien the other day and my dog is psychic and yeah

And he was like well aliens are definitely real so you're not crazy for that

And I was like yeah I was sitting on the couch thinking I might go for a walk under the full moon And then my dog stood up and looked at me All excited

and he was like oh yeah dogs definitely know what's up because you know they get they know before you leave and I was like yeah they know before you go on trips

He was like yeah dogs definitely know what's up

And we were talking about watsky's album and he was like I think my favorite track is the first one on it The titular track

And I was like I really like border in my heart because it's all Viva la Revolution you know and I'm all about that and he was nodding and like yep

and black hole eyes because when I met watsky my pupils were the size of dinner plates

And he goes

Maybe it's about you

And I was like maybe

A good productive conversation

So I've been telling customers all day that I've seen an alien

And my Google Assistant did the vibing thing when I was singing to it and I put it next to the card reader and it stopped working

There are 108 stitches on a baseball on every baseball

That is divisible by 12

And there are 12 keys in an octave on a piano 

Do you think that could have something to do with particle spin?

Like I can spend it can spin in 12 different directions

And those are the different frequencies

And the unit circle has 12 points

Pi over 6 pi over 4 pi over 5 pi over three pie over two then 2 pi over 3 3 pi over 4 5 pi over 6 pi and that's the semicircle. The reason half the circle is pi is because the diameter of the unit circle is 2   
And The equation for the circumference of a circle is pi times diameter  
And then there's cosine and sine  
I say cosine and sine in that order because cosine is x and sine is y   
But the oh God what was I talking about  
But the hypotenuse of the triangle that forms the points of intersection between the origin and the x or y-axis and the point on the circle will always be one because that is the radius so you just have to determine the length of the sides of the triangle with the Pythagorean theorem

Fuck dude. We're slaves to technology.   
Which is just energy  
And seratonin is just 3D printed happiness  
Like one part of the system faxes it to itself 

I feel like I can use the astral plane to save us all

The astral plane really is just a server and we're super computer at the same time collectively as a planet because we all convert matter into energy

What are you going to say now  
My phone is definitely haunted by Pete Wentz

I'm haunted by Pete Wentz

My phone gave me Pete Wentz's number

I called it and it said that the number was out of service and then there was a busy tone and then it said the person you are calling is unavailable so I don't know what the truth is

I have a drug abuse problem with marijuana

I need help

I need to go inpatient to help me quit

I think that's what's best for me

On Friday the 13th of March 2020, Zwamby was admitted to the psychiatric ward and medicated into compliance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW PRESS REPEAT


	29. Afterward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> July 15th, 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally organized my thoughts

I. Introduction

  1. Folie à Deux 
    1. According to Merriam Webster dictionary, Folie à deux is defined as 
      1. "the presence of the same or similar delusional ideas in two persons closely associated with one another" 
        1. Whether or not Peter and I are closely associated with one another is up for debate, but by the end of this outline, you'll at least have an inkling of where I'm coming from.
  2. The spaces in the album art for MANIA lend themselves to an interpretation of the spaces that it spells main idea 
    1. Mania is defined by Merriam Webster dictionary as 
      1. "excitement manifested by mental and physical hyperactivity, disorganization of behavior, and elevation of mood. specifically : the manic phase of bipolar disorder"
  3. I am delusional for him
  4. As evidenced by 
    1. my comedy
    2. this book
    3. this outline
  5. He is delusional for me 
    1. I will shortly provide quotes that support this point
  6. Thesis Statement 
    1. Peter Wentz's lyrics could be perceived as saying that not only is he delusional for me, but also that delusions and dreams are nonfictional on the astral plane, can be shared, and can exist beyond linear time. In addition, Peter Wentz's lyrical themes of sex, astral projection, and the "loaded god complex" support the notion that he is the one who aided me in the astral conception.



II. Quotes that support the notion that I am the subject of his writing

  1. He doesn't know the subject of his lyrics 
    1. Young and menace  
"I woke up in my shoes again but somewhere you exist"  
 _He's saying he woke up where he was but she's out there somewhere, and he doesn't know where._
    2. Hum hallelujah  
"And you're someone who knows someone  
Who knows someone I once knew  
And I just wanna be a part of this"  
 _They don't know each other in real life_
    3. Hurricane  
"Are you worth your weight in gold?  
'Cause you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone  
Hey, stranger, I want you to catch me like a cold"  
 _They're strangers._
  2. Qualitative similarities to my life  

    1. I smoke
    2. My neighbor has a pick up truck
    3. I live two lots away from a cemetery
    4. I live in a small town
    5. I am very charismatic
    6. I have freckles
    7. I have blue eyes
    8. I'm a nonconformist
    9. I had a posted of Peter on my wall
    10. I stopped listening to fall out boy from 2014-2016 
      1. See citations for quotes
  3. Things that have happened to me that he writes about 
    1. My songs know what you did in the dark (light em up)  
"B-B-Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark  
Can't be sure when they've hit their mark"  
 _Like asking Peter Wentz to enter my body?_  
"My songs know what you did in the dark"  
 _Oh was it that I lit a pentagram and fucked him?_  
"Light em up, up, up  
I'm on fire"  
 _Hmmm… like candles in a pentagram, perchance?_
    2. Hands up (Dear future self)  
"She winin' like she losing her mind, yeah'  
 _So "winin" is a dance where the hips move around a lot to the beat and I absolutely did that when copulating with Peter's astral projection while listening to Fall Out Boy on the winter solstice of 2017. And when I found out what it meant, all the color left my face._
    3. Centuries  
"And this is supposed to match  
The darkness that you felt  
I never meant for you to fix yourself"  
 _After I went to the hospital a year after save rock and roll and a year before American beauty American psycho, I got better for a while. And then in October of 2015 I had my first manic episode_
    4. Young and menace  
"Somewhere you exist saying 'Oops I   
Did it again I   
Forgot what I   
was   
losing my mind about'"  
 _I had, in fact, forgotten what I was losing my mind about. I lost my mind in late 2015 and again in early 2016 and then got better, and just forgot._  
"I only wrote this down to make you press rewind and send a message I was young and a menace  
You-you-young and a menace and a menace you-young and a menace and a and a men-ace"  
 _Patrick Stump played this song to Peter Wentz in August of 2016. Peter later said that the original version sounded more like a dial up modem. In the context of the song, it sounds like you're having a seizure. Which is exactly what electro-convulsive therapy would sound like. They put you under and give you seizures by electrocuting your brain to cure mental illness. I had mine done in the summer of 2014. They treated me for depression, and I've only been depressed twice since as a result of manic shame, but as evidenced by this video, it may have swung the pendulum too far in the other direction. Also I was young and a menace when I did stand up comedy about my delusions_
    5. Centuries  
"Come on, come on, and let me in  
Bruises on your thighs like my fingerprints"  
 _Okay this one, this is the lyric that made my blood run cold the first time I heard it. Because one day, in early 2014 when I was still a virgin, and this song came out in September of 2014, I woke up with fingerprint bruises on either side of my thighs. I wake up if someone is looking at me in my doorway or if a bug crawls on me, so there's no way anything happened in real life. Also there's no way it could have been me because the prints were too far apart and also the hands were flipped, right on my left, and left on my right. I even tried crossing my arms, but the prints were still too far apart. And it couldn't have been coincidental bruises, which I'm no stranger to, because they were in the same formation on both thighs. So THAT scared the shit out of me and hearing this lyric is what made the whole thing click. And don't forget, he doesn't know the girl in real life, and he's the best worst thing that hasn't happened to her yet, which he said in this album, in the previous song even, and how can that be if they've already slept together?_
    6. Disloyal order of water buffaloes  
"So boycott love  
Detox just to retox"  
 _Every FUCKING time I'm not in a FUCKING relationship with anyone, I fall back in LOVE with Peter WENTZ_
  4. Prophesying my death and rebirth by mania  

    1. Evidence that he has something to do with it 
      1. Irresistible  
"I'm gonna get you to burst just like you were a bubble"  
 _Oh I burst alright._
      2. The Phoenix  
"I’m going to change you like a remix  
Then I’ll raise you like a phoenix"  
 _He *snaps* did *snaps* that! *snaps*_
      3. My songs know what you did in the dark (light em up)  
"I just got to get you out of the cage  
I'm a young lover's rage  
Gonna need a spark to ignite"  
 _Like maybe mania? Perchance mania? A little bit of mania in my life..._
    2. Mentions of death and rebirth  

      1. Twin skeletons (Hotel in NYC)  
"A birth and a death on the same day"  
I'm going to die and be reborn on that same day.  
 _Just like… it's just… it's just like a… it's just like a feeeeniiiix_
      2. Uma Thurman  
"You'll find your way  
And may death find you alive"  
 _May you go insane while still alive. Or does he mean it in the French way of une petite mort… Knowing Peter it's a double entendre._
      3. Centuries  
"Until you die for me, as long as there's a light, my shadow's over you  
Cause I am the opposite of amnesia"  
 _Until I go crazy for him, as long as there's hope, he'll haunt me and maybe I'll remember all the dreams I've had and times we shared on the astral plane._
    3. Discussing that it's actually going to happen  

      1. Headfirst slide into Cooperstown on a bad bet  
"Aw, Tempest in a teacup  
Get unique  
Peroxide princess shine like shark teeth  
It's a sign (it's a sign), it's a sign (it's a sign)  
It's a sign: what if you peaked early?"  
 _He flatters me so. And I did not peak early. I peaked right on time._
      2. Centuries  
"And you're a cherry blossom  
You're about to bloom  
You look so pretty, but you're gone so soon"  
 _I'm gonna go manic soon, and I did later that year, but it won't last for long, which it didn't._
      3. Hold me tight (or don't)  
"And when your stitch comes loose  
I wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz  
And stuffing that comes out of you,"  
 _When I go crazy, he'll love everything about me and all of my whack ideas_
  5. Dreams being shared  

    1. Literal textual evidence that dreams are shared  

      1. Headfirst slide into Cooperstown on a bad bet  
"Mr. Sandman showing his beam  
When he walks into the room the walls lean in to listen   
Surfed out brain waves flick back and forth  
Like old headlights sniffing model glue again"  
 _Our brainwaves flick back and forth to and from each other, so dreams are shared._
      2. Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends  
"And we're friends, we're friends  
Just because we move units"  
 _Units being brainwaves._
      3. American beauty American psycho  
"And as we're drifting off to sleep  
All those dirty thoughts of me  
They were never yours to keep'  
 _Because when I drift off to sleep thinking dirty thoughts about him, he knows because when I dream about having sex with him, he can remember it._
    2. Examples of dreams I've had that he's written about  

      1. Snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers  
"Show me, show me, show me a starry-eyed kid  
I, I, I will break his jaw  
I won't, I won't, I won't let him get his hopes up  
No-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh  
...   
This story's getting old  
The home wrecker with the heart of gold  
Keep you locked up in the trunk of my mind  
Keep, k-keep talking  
Keep this alive"  
 _I would have these nightmares where a man, that I had seen before but didn't fully recognize, would beat the shit out of my boyfriends and men who had crushes on me with a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat while he locked me in the trunk of a car. Yeah. I mean… yeah._
      2. Favorite record  
"Do you, do-do you remember  
When we drove, we drove, drove through the night  
And we danced, we danced to Rancid  
And we danced, we danced  
And I confessed, confessed  
To you riding shot-gun  
Underneath the purple skies  
And we danced, we danced  
With windows down  
And we danced, we danced"  
 _The funny thing is, I didn't think I knew who Rancid was, and I was like nope, don't remember. Then, when I listened to them while writing this in July of 2020, I realized I DID know them, and I had a brain blast moment where I suddenly was in his car and we were dancing and I was flushed pink with happiness and beaming like an idiot._
      3. Rat a tat  
"As alone as a little white church  
In the middle of the desert getting burned"  
 _Some people think this is a kill bill reference but it's really a reference to a reoccurring dream I've had forever. My house is the old parsonage to a little white church and I would have dreams of burning the church down in the desert._



III. Quotes that support the notion that Peter aided me in the astral conception

  1. Themes  

    1. Sex  

      1. Bang the doldrums  
"Happily ever after below the waist"  
 _We're happy because we're fucking!_
      2. W.a.M.S (which literally stands for wet and messy sex)   
"My head's in heaven, my soles are in hell  
Let's meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well"  
 _Let us fuck!_
      3. Bishop's knife trick  
"Spiritual revolt from the waist down  
From the waist down"  
 _Finally, my favorite kind of fucking, heretical fucking!_
    2. Astral projection  

      1. Fame < infamy  
"When I'm home alone, I just dance by myself  
And you pull my head so close volume goes with the truth"  
 _He's by himself, yet I pull his head close? Hmmm… ASTRAL PROJECTION_
      2. The kids aren't alright  
"Blessed be the boys time can't capture  
On film or between the sheets"  
 _ASTRAL PROJECTIONS_
      3. Heaven's gate  
"One look from you  
And I'm on that faded love  
Out of my body  
And flying above"  
 _Literally an ASTRAL PROJECTION_
      4. Ghostbusters (I'm not afraid)  
"An invisible man  
Sleeping in your bed  
Who you gonna call  
(Ghostbusters)"  
 _An INVISIBLE MAN, sleeping in MY bed? It's more likely than you think. ASTRAL PROJECTION_
    3. Loaded god complex  

      1. Sugar we're goin down swingin  
"I'll be your number one with a bullet  
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"  
 _He's a demigod, like all celebrities. However, with a little nudge, like pulling the trigger on a god complex by jointly performing a miracle, he can become a god._
      2. Hurricane  
"You and God both got the guns  
When you shoot, I think I'd duck"  
 _God and I can both decide who becomes a god, and he's saying, nah, no thanks,_
      3. American beauty/American psycho  
"And you can kill me, kill me or let God sort ‘em out"  
 _I need to "kill him" by "pulling the trigger" on the "loaded god complex" in order to save the world our way or the real god will take control and do it. And again, "kill" is slang for "fuck"._
  2. Mistake or miracle  

    1. Centuries  
"And just one mistake  
Is all it will take  
We'll go down in history  
Remember me for centuries"  
 _Here, in post-haitus fall out boy, I believe that the "mistake" is an accidental pregnancy as a result of engaging in coitus while astral projecting and, essentially, turning him into a god. I know this because I've connected the dots. I've connected them. Anyway, doing that would definitely make you go down in history and have people remember_ you for centuries.
    2. Uma Thurman  
"I can move mountains  
I can work a miracle, work a miracle"  
 _And wouldn't the astral conception be a miracle?_
    3. Champion  
"I'm calling you from the future  
To let you know we've made a mistake'  
 _This song was released in June of 2017, right around the summer solstice, so six months before the winter solstice of 2017. I WONDER WHAT THE MISTAKE IS, PEEEETER?_
  3. Positive pregnancy test  

    1. False positive reasons from self.com 
      1. You let the test sit too long before looking.  

        1. Self.com says "If you take a standard pregnancy test with line indicators, it's important to check the results in the time frame instructed. If you let it sit too long before reading the results, urine on the test can evaporate and make it look like you have two lines instead of just one. 'Oftentimes people will see evaporation lines as urine starts to evaporate off the test,' Jamil Abdur-Rahman, M.D., board-certified ob/gyn, tells SELF. That might cause the test to look like it has a faint second line—making it positive—but it really only has one."
        2. Medical news today says, "An evaporation line is a slight streak that appears where the positive line on a pregnancy test should be… Evaporation lines are colorless streaks, not faint lines." 
        3. Healthline says "Evaporation lines are common and can occur with any pregnancy test. An evaporation line is a line that appears in the results window of a pregnancy test as the urine dries. It can leave a faint, colorless line."
        4. And family2fertility says 'A mark on a pregnancy test may be an evaporation line if: More than 10 minutes have passed since taking the test., The mark is faint and colourless, and it resembles a water spot, The mark has no visible dye in it."   

          1. Mine is not colorless, and it does have dye in it. 
            1. google evaporation lines 
      2. The pregnancy test is expired.  

        1. No, I made sure to check. And I took it the day I bought it
      3. You’re on fertility medications that raise hCG levels. 
        1. Nope
      4. You've had an extremely early miscarriage. 
        1. I got a very chunky period, which had never happened to me before, shortly after the pregnancy tests which I believe was a miscarriage due to how much medication they put me on, but I hadn't had any bleeding or spotting beforehand.
      5. You have residual hCG in your system after a delivery or miscarriage. 
        1. Nope!
      6. You had an ectopic pregnancy. 
        1. Doubt it



IV. Conclusion

First of all, since Peter Wentz's lyrics state that he doesn't know the subject of his writing in real life and have many similarities to my life, and since I am delusional about Peter and an album is titled the shared madness of two, I just might possibly be the subject of his writing. Second of all, I glean from lyrical content, concerning dreams I've had and facts about my future, that dreams could be shared and may even have the ability to see the future. Third of all, given the themes of sex, astral projection, and the "loaded god complex," it could be perceived that the "mistake" discussed in Peter's lyrics is the astral conception I experienced and, if that is true, the astral plane can overlap with reality. All in all, I conclude that it is possible that delusions are nonfictional on the astral plane, dreaming and delusions may be shared and potentially exist beyond linear time, and the existence of the astral plane is feasible.

V. Citations

a) Tell that Mick he just made my list of things to do today  
"Light that smoke, that one for giving up on me"

Caffeine cold  
"Now, I smell like cigarettes 'cause I love to breathe your smoke"

Irresistible  
"You're second hand smoke, second hand smoke  
I breathe you in but, honey, I don't know what you're doing to me"

b) Chicago is so two years ago  
"They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house"

c) Sugar we're goin down swingin  
"Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum"

d) Get busy living or get busy dying (do your part to save the scene and stop going to shows)  
"I'm mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town, no"

e) The (after) life of the party  
"Cut it loose (Watch you work the room)"

f) 27  
"Oh freckle, freckle  
What makes you so special?"

g) G.I.N.A.S.F.S  
"Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns"

h) I've been waiting  
"I been dreamin'  
Of your uniform, your uniform of non-conformity"

i) I've never conformed a day in my life   
"Frame me up on your wall just to keep me out of trouble'

j) Favorite record  
"And I spin for you like your favorite records used to"

I don't think I'll ever write the paper, but it's good to know that my mania had some sort of rationality. 

Thank you for reading my nonsense

I hope this outline gave you some semblance of an answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW PRESS REPEAT


End file.
